The List: I am here.

Greetings,

So people often ask me how I am doing and what's going on with my health. I usually give the short answer that "I am fine." or that "I am doing OK." For the most part, at that point in time when they ask it is mostly the truth. I don't usually tell all of the truth because it would take too long and would feel too much like complaining in my books and I just don't like doing that. I tell people for empathy not sympathy, I tell people for explanation of what's going on and not much more.

Just for a change I figure I will give some detail as to what's going on with me and give "the list" of various bits and pieces which are going on with me at the moment, and I would not be surprised if I have missed some in the process of making this list. What will be noted is that some of these issues are a daily issue for me and some of them are just irritations which emerge to annoy me every now and then.

1. Fibromyalgia (FM)
No surprises here. I would not be writing this blog if it was not for this condition. It is the one which causes the most issues most of the time. All of the issues impact upon this one and this one impacts upon all of the others. If it relates to pain it can be related back to FM either making it worse or better, usually worse.

2. Sarcoidosis
Update: As of late 2019 this is gone. No presence of it found in my liver as of last scan. Lungs seem to be relatively clear as well.

3. Osteoporosis
Update: As of late 2019 this is gone. The last Body Mass Density Scan said everything is back to normal.

4. Adrenal Suppression
Our good friend prednisone also caused adrenal suppression meaning that my adrenal glands are a little slow to respond to infections. The other symptoms of this one are tiredness, abdominal pain, low blood sugar and other irritations.

5. Coccydynia
"Tailbone" pain. Seems that somewhere in my exciting childhood I did some damage to my coccyx. The result is that I have issues with sitting for an extended period of time, and also rising from a seated position. There are lots of nerves which are connected to this area.

Update: after waiting on the public health system for a period of time, I finally got a coccygectomy, i.e. they removed the offending broken tailbone on 8 September 2022. I am gradually improving, some of the tailbone pain remains, but nerves are finickity things in their healing process. I am optimistic that I will eventually be able to wipe this one out as well.

6. Neck (c5-c7)
This one is a real issue as I get numbness in my fingers on both sides, though for some reason my left is definitely worse than my right. The pressure here seems to be sitting on a nerve connected to my elbow, which is not helpful, though the scans say that it should be affecting my right not my left. Probably the FM screwing things up again.

7. Gastro Oesophageal reflux disease (GORD) and Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)
Lots of fun with eating and digesting of foods. I have been on various different diets to attempt to improve the situation with these two, they help mildly but not so much as how much I enjoy eating what I like. The IBS is also very much connected to FM as well which is not very helpful. The GORD is also related to stress, and with this list there is no surprise that I have a little issue with stress. Not to mention that FM causes issues with swallowing.

8. OSA (Obstructive Sleep Apnoea) and CSA (Central Sleep Apnoea)
Most people will be familiar with OSA where the soft palate of the mouth obstructs the breathing passage causing the person to stop breathing, and also causing snoring. CSA is a little more interesting, in this case the lungs just decide that they are not going to work and just simply stop working. The normal CPAP machine will not help with CSA, thus I have a special machine to deal with it which has variable pressure.

9. Plantar Facitis
Seems that I have been walking too much. So now I have special inner-soles for my shoes to stop my feet hurting so much because I won't stop walking. Besides it is my main mode of transport.

10. Peripheral Neuropathy
Another reason for my feet to hurt, I have almost no doubt that this has been caused by the FM indirectly or by my Neck or some other similar nerve-effect. In any case the feet are irritatingly sore and usually for no reason.

11. Migraine
These are finally under control thanks to various medications. I am very diligent in taking the medications which control these because I sure know when I don't.

12. Bone spur in Achilles' tendons
Picked up on an ultrasound when looking for something else, these only really cause me an issue when I have been on my feet for ages. Or when I have been doing lots.

13. Marfans Syndrome
This has given me some physical symptoms, mainly I have hyper-mobility through my joints, which is no help with the FM, and I seem to be still growing. Luckily I do not have any of the heart issues which seem to go along with this condition. The real issue is that I suspect that this diagnosis covered many of my FM symptoms when I was seeking a diagnosis.

14. Arthritis in thoracic spine
I have a little arthritis in my thoracic spine, my lumbar spine is in great condition. This has been causing some chest pains of late which is really annoying.

15. Asthma
The asthma has more or less disappeared. The only time that it ever appears is if I get a chest infection. Once that is cleared the asthma disappears with it so this is really a non-issue. I have not used a puffer in years.

16. Depression
With no great surprise I have some depression. This stems mainly from the chronic pain which I suffer from, but also other issues which are mainly to do with the various conditions which are listed above. It is usually the complications as a result of the conditions which cause the depression. I am not one to complain so I put on a happy face and go on with my life. I am not the sort of person to go into a hole and wallow in my pain and unhappiness of my lot.

The question must be asked as to why I have published this list of issues and mentioned how they affect me. I have done this because people have struggles which we do not know about. Most of the time they are hidden from the world because it is "not the done thing" to present them to the world because the individual seems like they are complaining.

The "R U OK?" Day is one day out of 365 where the question is asked and it is almost a rhetorical question because while people are somewhat encouraged to tell what's going on there is no more. I publish this list to say that "No, I am not OK." and I am fine with this. I have my struggles and I will continue to fight them. I have days where I find things incredibly hard. I have days where I wonder if it would not be just easier for me to just stop... everything. The thing is that I know that there are people out there who support me and who will help me through my trials and tribulations.

I will stand with all of those who are not OK. I will stand with those who are finding it hard. I will stand with all of those who are tested every day of their lives. I will stand with them and say that: I understand that it is hard, I know that you have your good days and your bad. Learn from the bad days; live for and remember the good days. To those who I call family and friends, know that I am here.

Cheers,

Henry.

2017 is Gone, 2018 is Here

Greetings,

I don't usually do this, but I figured that I might anyway. This will be a kind of "year in review" but with a bit of a difference. While we need to look at things that have happened, it is also important to look forward to things that are coming, both to prepare for them and to hope for them. One thing that I will say, just sitting here, except for a couple of highlights, here and there 2017 is a bit of a blur now.

Well, 2017 had its upside and sure had its downside. The result being that it turned into a bit of a year with memories which I will keep and some things which I could get rid of, or reverse.

January started as it always does, hot. It also had all of the first month of the year poking and prodding by specialists, just to make sure that everything was going according to plan. There were also a couple of small swordplay things in there as well, just to cap the month off.

February was pretty dull, somewhere either in January or February my neck issue had also risen its ugly head, again. CT done to see if anything could be done, physiotherapy chosen instead. C5 - C7 is a mess and presses on the nerve giving me headaches and pain, real lots of fun when combined with the fibromyalgia (FM), but this is a recurring problem not something I can blame 2017 for.

Good things that happened over the early months, diagnosis of Central Sleep Apnoea (CSA) and a new machine meaning I am now getting real quality sleep, a real bonus. I can tell the difference without it, like a lot. Of course I had to pay for the mask myself which took a couple of months and a couple of hundred dollars.

Oh, yeah forgot, during the storms earlier in the year we got storm damage. It then has took about eight months to get the roof repaired, and the actual damaged part of the front of the house still has not been repaired yet as I am waiting to hear from the builder. Overall, thank goodness for insurance on the house.

The year wore on and I was given a diagnosis of plantar fasciitis, which explained the reason why my feet were getting so sore when I was standing on them for any length of time. Just another one to add to my list.

Went to Great Northern War (national SCA event), which was wet, very much so. Still had quite a bit of fun teaching fencing and also fencing. Won the Powerful Owl Rapier Tournament, which I was quite happy with considering the weather was doing my joints no favours whatsoever. It was also nice to see others fencing so well.

The calendar seems to be dotted with appointments during the colder months which I was not able to make, which was unfortunate, but this is kind of expected. There are also quite a few more doctor's appointments scheduled during this period as well.

Went to Fencing Fest as a paying customer for the first time, which was nice. Still did a class on cutting with milk bottles filled with water which was quite popular again. I will be running the event again next year. In August I also managed to get to fence a friend who I have been waiting to fence for 21 years, Nic Harrison, and it was everything that I had been waiting for.

September was its usual busy self. St Florian Baronial (local SCA tournament) and Swordplay 2017 (national HEMA event) resulted in me being in a wheelchair for the last day of Swordplay having pretty much run myself into the ground, this is called causing a fibro-flare because you worked it too hard. This resulted in me being off my feet for about a week. Due to a repetitive theme of this "week's recovery" every year, I have relinquished my role as Chief Safety Marshal for 2018.

In early October I was invited to join the Order of Defence (the highest level in the SCA possible for fencing), which I accepted. The elevation took place at the Burnfield 15th Birthday Bash, and the event contains memories which I will hold dear. This was a big thing for me. Also this year I sent of the manuscript of my first book to the publisher to be published, so hopefully that will be out this year.

Just when everything looked like it was going rather well, my cousin passed away on 17th December, she died saving her nephews, which is something which I will take with me, always a hero. Just to make it a real kick in the teeth it was the 10th anniversary of my mothers death on the 16th December, so the end of December looked pretty bleak for me and I found it quite hard to get into the whole "Christmas spirit". Casey and I did the easy thing and stayed home and let people visit us.

New Year's Eve was spent playing board games and card games with a few friends. The new year was rung in with relative quiet celebration.

The most important thing to remember is that 2017 is gone, 2018 is here and it is this year that you have to deal with. Yes, there is some fall-out which will brush over from one to the next, but you must move on and move on with a positive spirit. I have heard too many people say "Well, it can't be any worse than last year." Well, actually it can. You should do your damned hardest to make sure it isn't. You have to do your bit too.

Cheers,

Henry.

Some Things I Have Learned Having Fibromyalgia

Greetings,

This post was inspired by one made by my sister. Ironically, I think I have written a lot of this separately in different blog articles, oh well...

1. Make a choice fight or don't. You can crawl up into a ball and reduce what you do. Or you can stand up and fight and keep or expand what you can. One of these is easy but leads down a much more restricted path, the other will be much more difficult but the benefit will be a much more involved life. This will require activity and it will take time. Needless to say I am a fighter.

2. You are in it for the long-haul. There are not quick-fixes for this one. It is not something you can go to a doctor/surgeon/specialist and then days/months/years down the track it is all fixed. This is one which is going to stick around for the rest of your life. So you need to think of the long-term rather than the short-term, and this means the long-term effects of what you are doing with yourself (See "1").

3. You will have to explain what fibromyalgia is to people a lot. Giving a medical definition will be a waste of time so the best thing is to give a general idea of what the symptoms are like. I tend to describe FM as the worst elements of arthritis and chronic fatigue.

4. People will not understand the pain you experience, even others with fibromyalgia. Everybody's pain is different and not everyone will have the same symptoms as you. Even if they do have the exact same symptoms as you the pain will be difficult to describe. This goes for people in the medical profession as well.

5. You will get asked where does it hurt, a lot. Being able to pin-point where you have pain is a great advantage, for the most part you will not. In response to this question for the most part it would be easier to ask where doesn't it hurt, though that can change at a moment's notice. On a pain diagram it is easier sometimes to simply circle the whole thing, or colour the lot in.

6. You will have to explain your existence a lot. People will not understand how you can do somethings and not others. This is one I get asked a lot. However, do not feel you need to explain yourself, for some people it won't matter what you say, they will never understand and they will never believe you. These people are best to be left behind as they will always second-guess you.

7. Don't be afraid to push your limits. If you want to extend yourself then you need to challenge your own boundaries. You will be surprised about what you can accomplish.

8. Expect to fail every now and then. When you take the advice in "7" you will find that your boundaries are sometimes more restrictive than you thought. The important thing is not to see the failure as the end. Get up, brush yourself off and have another go, and another, and another until you do get where you want to be.

9. Take a break. Everybody needs them. Your body will tell you when to take the break one way or another, but most often it will tell you by causing you pain. In my case it is usually after I hit the bottom, but I do rest.

10. Expect some people to walk away. This is because they cannot understand what you are going through and this frightens them. It is during these times that you will find people who are really your friends.

11. Some people will never believe you. This is regardless of what you tell them or what evidence you present. These people will always think that there is nothing wrong and it is all a show. Best advice for these people is to stay away from them as best you can.

12. Find a good doctor. I do not mean a doctor with lots of qualifications and recommendations. I mean a doctor who you can deal with. A doctor who really wants to understand and help you with what is going on with you. More to the point a doctor who actually does understand that there is something going wrong. If you have to spend your time convincing your doctor that there is something wrong and it is not all in your head you need to find a better doctor.

13. It may get better, or it may get worse. This is one of the frightening things about FM, you may get worse or not, you don't know. The only thing to do in this situation is to do what you can help to prevent it from getting worse. It may not work but give it your best and you never know it might get better or at least stabilise things (See "1").

14. Expect the random. What? How can you expect the random? Expect that sometimes your fibromyalgia will come up and bite you on the butt when you least expect it, and most often when you least want it to. In this you need to be prepared to decline, to reschedule, and to miss out. Sometimes it is better to sit out and miss things than to push yourself too far. Sometimes it will be worth it to push yourself, pick your times and your battles. In my case I have missed events of various kinds in order to do this, it is not easy to do.

15. Do not be afraid to be a burden, but do not expect to be one. There are times when you will need help and when it is offered, take it. However, do not expect people to do things for you just because of your condition, you need to give them a reason to want to care. You need to be giving something back for people to want to go out of their way for you. I pull my weight where I can, or at least try to and try to give something back where I can from what I can do.

16. Ask for help, it is not a sign of weakness. There are times when you will need help, do not be afraid to ask for it. Do not expect people to intuitively know when you need help with things. You will need to ask for help, do not simply expect it to happen without asking. More to the point be grateful of the help, especially because it most often comes when you most need it. One of the hardest lessons to learn for me, and to tell the truth, I am still learning it.

17. Do not expect help, even from those you should. There are times, and most times, when you will have to do this thing on your own. This means you are just going to have to battle through yourself and do what you can when you can. There will be times when you will expect help and it simply will not happen, sometimes even when you ask.

18. People have their own lives. They can not always be around to help you or be there for you. You need some self-sufficiency. Sometimes people's lives will be more important than helping you with yours, this is something you simply have to accept and move on.

19. If you want to do something, do it. Find what you want to do and see if you can. Give things a go, you will only find out if you have a go. You never know you just might surprise yourself. Of course, keep your expectations real at the same time. Find a project, intellectual or physical (the best kinds have both) and go for it.

20. Don't believe everything that you read. You will find things which are contradictory to what has been written about the condition. In my case I have one word "caffeine". Supposedly it causes problems with fibromyalgia and thus I should stay away from it. I have found it useful. It helps cut through the "fog", it obviously wakes me up, and it gets the blood pumping. All of these things I have found to be a benefit rather than a problem.

21. You are much stronger than you know. You can battle through the hardest parts of this condition. You always have the strength to go on. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. Some days getting out of bed is a hardship, but I do it anyway. Small achievement I know, but a victory nonetheless. If you find these victories in your life you will find that you can do a lot of things and each achievement will spur you on to the next. Getting out of bed gets the ball rolling. Sure it is hard, and it is easy to go back, but always look forward. Get one thing done today and it is an achievement, you never know you could be aimed at two, or more tomorrow.

22. Look for understanding not sympathy. The former is more difficult to achieve than the latter and is worth more. Through understanding a person can then begin to understand when you need help and how this is best delivered. Sympathy is like a pat on the head, nice but does not get you anywhere. Understanding is a long-term project usually only undertaken by those who really care and want to know. Needless to say if you go looking for it you can get a lot of sympathy, but understanding is a lot harder to achieve. Oh, and after a while too much sympathy gained off a single individual can turn into contempt, which is exactly what you don't want.

23. Insomnia can be both a curse and a gift. In the long-term insomnia is not good for you and will cause you problems, however it can allow you to achieve things as well. A short dose of insomnia in one particular instance allowed me to get further in a project than I would have otherwise. Use the over-active brain to do something with. Write it all down, even if it is gobbledigook.

24. Medication needs to be managed. Well-managed medication can be a boon. Side-effects can be a killer so these need to be managed as well. More to the point you need to realise when you actually need it. I am horrible with regard to this as concerns pain-killers. I hate taking them due to the side-effects and my fear of becoming dependent on them. I will do anything I can to avoid having to take a pain-killer. I take them when I need them, and not before. The rest of my medication is, for the most part, pretty good, even if it is somewhat limiting on certain aspects.

25. There is always another twist. There is always something around the corner that you will not expect. In my case this was sarcoidosis and osteoporosis. Dealing with both, things are looking good. These things will complicate what is going on. For the most part they do not even have to be directly associated with the FM, but they will have their effects. Look at it simply as another puzzle to solve or manage and move on.

26. Your life is a puzzle. Yes, I am a walking rubix cube. There are many moving parts and the bits do not always fit the way that they are supposed to. The fibromyalgia will complicate things for you and the symptoms will be random a lot of the time. However, we all have triggers which we can do our best to avoid where we can. In my case I look at it all as a puzzle and making all of the bits fit properly results in me having a better life than before. It may not be perfect, but at least it will be better.

27. Being positive does help. Whether it is something chemical or just an outlook on life, being positive about things helps. If you are positive there is no hurdle which you cannot tackle. In my case I accept things for what they are and move on. Curling up in a ball and hiding only works so well for so long. Eventually you have to get up and do something. Worrying about stuff you can do nothing about does nothing but waste energy on things you could be doing something about.

28. Take greater joy in the things you can do than those you can't. There are things we all cannot do anymore thanks to FM. In my case I can no longer write or type for as long nor as fast as I used to be able to. So I focus more on the things that I can do, especially the ones where the ability to do this shocks people. Big one for me is fencing and this one not only shocks friends and family but also some in the medical profession as well.

29. You will get frustrated and annoyed. I am usually a reasonably calm and quiet sort of person. This illness drives me to distraction, especially when it says "Not today." for anything. In these times you need to accept that you are actually frustrated and annoyed, but also realise that while something may not be going according to plan, there are things you can do about it. I denied for the longest time that I had depression and I do have my ups and downs with regard to it. For the most part the cause of this can be firmly laid at the feet of fibromyalgia. It makes things really difficult at times but you have to accept these things as they are and then move through them. So you can't do what you planned today, push it to one side and do something else; then try again tomorrow.

30. Take hold of something which is yours and hold on to it. Pick one thing, one thing that you love doing and do your very best to hold on to that thing. For me that one thing is Renaissance martial arts, it is something I was doing before fibromyalgia and it is the one thing that keeps me going. When I mention fencing this is what I am talking about, not sport fencing but the fencing of the Renaissance period. I do it, I read about it, I research it. This is the one thing that keeps me going and the one thing I will never give in. Essentially you need something you love to challenge you and give you the victories to keep going.

Well, I have come up with 30 of them. No doubt I will think of some more later on and these I will either add to this in some form or some other method of recording them. You will notice that some of these will repeat themselves, well, that is just the way it is. Different lessons in each one of them though.

Cheers,

Henry.  

On Goals and Successes

Greetings,

The following entry in this blog is sort of a way of explanation. A couple of days ago I made a post on Facebook and Google+. I will admit that I was a little short tempered at the time and a little unimpressed. So I will present the post below and then explain a little more of what I meant with regard to that expression. The post was as follows:

Just a short bitch... On Goals and Successes
1. Figure out what you want to do.
2. Set your own goals and go toward them.
3. Do not compare your successes to others as it is not a relevant reference for *your* goals.
4. Even if these goals do not yield "real world" results your goals are just as important as peoples' goals which do.
5. Be brave enough to evaluate your own level of work truthfully as you have only one person to blame if you are not getting there.
Sorry, I just needed to get this out of my system.

As I stated, I was unimpressed at the time and now I have some time to look back at what I wrote and give a little more explanation as to what I meant by my five step plan. More to the point I can explain a little about what I have been doing with regard to my own.

1. Figure out what you want to do
We all tend to muddle through life a little at least. I suspect that even with the most focused of minds there are times where the targets are a little blurry. This step is about regaining the focus and figuring out what you want to do with yourself. This lays the foundation for the following steps, and in some ways is one of the most important steps. If you don't know what you want to do it is difficult to set goals for yourself. An important point here is that this target can be small or large, near or far. This is a personal journey.

With regard to this, this is for people who want focus. There are those of us who are quite happy to coast through life. This is fine. This is for when the coasting stops in their case. There are those of us who devote our time to other people all of our time. This is for when they decide that they want to do something for themselves, whether or not this assists others or not. As I have stated, this is a personal journey.

2. Set your own goals and work toward them.
This follows on nicely from the last one. Once you figure out where you want to be, you need to set goals in order to get there. You need short-term goals and long-term goals. Once you have the goals you need to work toward them. Seems relatively simple really, however this can be tricky. If all the goals are long-distance or long-term it will be difficult to see how to get there. Remember that you also need short-term goals as well.

The second part of this is can be a difficult thing. People can set goals but if they do nothing afterward they should not be surprised that they cannot get there. Being a personal journey these goals should not be dependent on other people only ourselves. These are goals for yourself. Do not hinge them on the success of someone else, only your own successes. You need to work toward the goals.

3. Do not compare your successes to others as it is not a relevant reference for your goals.
Even when you are on a similar path, comparing your successes to another's is irrelevant. So a person achieves a goal that you were going for, this does not mean that you should not also go toward it still. So a fellow student out-performs you, this does not reference your goals as theirs are not yours. Your goals are yours to achieve, you are the only person who is relevant in achieving them.

Even more importantly, your goals may be smaller than their goals. This is nothing to be ashamed of. You do what you can. If your goals are small, there will be more of them. It is important that these small goals build to a bigger goal. You need to achieve your goals for yourself.

4. Even if these goals do not yield "real world" results your goals are just as important as people's goals which do.
Everyone likes to hear of goals which are achieved. We hear them on the news, "Professor Smith has found a cure to a disease.", "Joe Blogs has won gold at the Olympics" and so forth. I do not expect that any of the goals which I have achieved or will achieve will ever be noticed in this form. This does not bother me in the least.

Goals which get "real world" acclaim are important, but it does not mean that all goals need to be like this. Every goal is important at least at a personal level for the individual who achieves them. This success is more important than any amount of acclaim which a person gets from the outside. I suppose I need to give a little bit of personal detail here.

I have now been fencing in some form for 20 years. This is an achievement in itself. I have been doing Renaissance martial arts for almost as long with a medieval and Renaissance recreation society for almost as long. In that time I have risen to the top levels in that society. This is an achievement which took at least 10 years out of that 20 year stretch. I have been teaching Renaissance martial arts for some time as well and have had students also raise themselves to the high levels with my assistance. In the "real world" this does not mean much, but it is an achievement that I am proud of. These are my goals, they are important to me, and that is all they need to be important to.

5. Be brave enough to evaluate your own level of work truthfully as you have only one person to blame if you are not getting there.
Self-evaluation is important and is also one of the hardest things. Step 5 is all about being truthful about the amount of work you have put in in order to get your goals. This is about not blaming others for your own lack of success. The only person who can achieve your goals is you, and thus you are the only person who can put in the work to get there.

We need to evaluate our own progress toward our goals and find the reasons for why we are not getting there. In some instances it is because the goal is too far to evaluate the success. In some instances it is because the goal is a bit too big for what we are capable at that point in time. In some instances circumstances have made the situation not appropriate for that goal at that point in time. However we also have to admit that sometimes it is because we have not put in as much work as we should have. In all these instances we have to be honest and find out the real reasons.

Most Important
Most important of all, they are your goals, you have to set them, and you have to work toward them. This is one of those times where people can help you toward your goal but the work is going to have to primarily be done by you. Be honest in your evaluation of your goals and also your efforts toward your goals. Both of these are important.

Cheers,

Henry.

Best Things I Did for My FM...

Greetings,

So, I have been adding to my blog with reasonable regularity of late. I have decided that this is just not good because I keep losing subjects in the meantime. I have thus decided that I am going to treat this blog the same way that my Fibromyalgia treats me, with complete random. No more regular blogs I am just going to write when I feel the urge or find a subject. To this, my first one is actually a little back "on track" with the original idea of the blog.

So the post is called, Best Things I Did for My FM. Most importantly these are things that I did rather than things that other people did for me. If you have this condition you need to help yourself. No one is going to do it all for you. Sure, people can help you along the way, but the real stuff you have to do yourself. This requires motivation, and it requires courage.

Ironically this is actually a list of things but I will be focusing on a couple in this one. Most obviously, I found a doctor who actually believed me that there was actually something wrong. He actually looked at my medical history and what I actually did and devised a medical plan of how to deal with things from his end. What is even better this changes depending on my needs at the time, thus the program is flexible. So find a doctor you can talk to, explain what is going on, explain what you need, and work it from there. If the doctor is good he will take in what you say and things will improve.

For some people their little eyes and ears are going to burn when I explain what another thing that I did was as it is something I have been harping on for ages. I took up fencing. This happened because I was interested in it, not because I was told to exercise. In fact I actually took up fencing before any of my symptoms actually arrived. The point here is that fencing is something which keeps you active. The simple work of fencing is even movement based. What you need to do is something aerobic.

Now, I am not saying that you should take up running marathons or something equally silly. I am saying that you should find some sort of exercise which is easy to start with. A regular walk around the block or similar is a good start. If you can find a sport which will keep you interested and motivated that is your second step. The third step is sticking with it, even when things get hard.

I will admit there are sometimes when it is easy to pike going to training or even doing stuff at training. It is at these times that you need the most motivation and courage. You need a reason to be there a goal to set yourself. Make them small to start with and allow them to get bigger as you go along. Find some good reason to go along and make an effort, even when things seem hard. This is the reason why you need something that you are interested in and not something that you are taking up because you "have to" or "need to". This is one of those times where a "want" to is more important than a "need". Needs are things that are important to us for survival, you need to eat, you need to sleep and so forth. Wants are things that make things better for you, you want a new game, you want chocolate. In this particular case you have to "want" to do the activity, not because you have to but because you want to. This want has to overpower things that may stop you from doing this thing. It needs to get past your depression, it needs to get past your pain, it needs to be more important and a reason to go and do it.

There are times when we all need down-time, this is something that I will admit. But when your down-time seems to be more important than actually doing something, this is the beginning of a slippery slope downward. There are levels of pain you should not fight past. My biggest problem is confusing it with the ones which I can, and doing stuff when I really probably shouldn't. There is a great feeling of accomplishment at the end, but boy do I pay for it. Recognise the signs and don't let your body fool you.

A lot of people think that when they are diagnosed with FM things are really in the hands of other people, doctors and the like. Well it is NOT. It is still in your hands and you can make the difference. It is your life after all it is up to you to do something with it.

Cheers,

...Henry.