2019... An Interesting Year

Greetings,

Coming to the end of the year, I thought I would have a look back on the year at some highlights. I will be having a look at these from a neutral perspective, examining things as they were. This means that I will be acknowledging the positives and the negatives to keep things even, but in the end, I think it will turn out to be... another year completed. (Be warned this is a little long.)

Book Published

Well 2019, you have been an interesting year to say the least. There have been some ups and some downs throughout you on a personal scale, and on a broader scale. Let's see if we can do this in relatively chronological order to examine things evenly, it will also see if I can actually remember everything that happened.

I can now claim myself as an author as I have published my first book. I set up a publishing business, Sword and Book Enterprises, in late 2018 to achieve this, so the book was self-published. The book was officially published on 15 Marsh 2019, the book, Un-blogged: A Fencer's Ramblings, is available on-line from all sorts of places including Amazon and Book Depository. There are all sorts of people who helped me with this but, I cannot say "Thank you" enough to Jen Fraser, and my sister Julia Robertson, for their assistance.

On the same day as it was published I had a book launch at my place. I sent out a whole stack of invitations, via Facebook. Even had a Facebook Event set up for it. Of course, on that evening it decided to have torrential rain, so it was almost washed out. There was a small amount of people who were still able to attend and it was, a success pretty much. Hopefully, all things going according to plan, I hope to have two more books out in 2020.

Purple Challenge

Last year I was unable to participate completely in Relay for Life because my health was simply not up to it. I was very disappointed about this. So I decided that I would do something that I could do to raise funds for a good charity, hence My Purple Challenge was envisioned. The object of this was to raise funds and awareness for the Princess Alexandra Hospital Research Foundation, who does research into cancer and other areas.

The Purple Challenge, which I have spoken about before was, for the entire month of May, I would bout people for $1 per bout. The restrictions were that they had to be from a recognised fencing group, and that I had to be at the practice where they would fence me, and there was time to have the bout. In the end, I raised $100 which was more than I expected, so I rated it as a success. I will hopefully be doing a repeat of this next year, with more advertising so I can get more people involved.

Elevation

I am a member of the Society for Creative Anachronisms (SCA). Which is a world-wide organisation that recreates the Medieval and Renaissance periods. The link, above, is to the Kingdom of Lochac which is Australia and New Zealand. I have been a member of this organisation since 1992. We recreate all the good bits of this period. There is an award structure which awards various endeavours which people participate in, and the structure has various levels. The highest being the Peerage.

On 8 June I was elevated to the Order of the Laurel for fencing research and interpretation. I seem to have a pattern of having "big" moments in the SCA coinciding with wet weather, luckily on the day, the weather was "mostly" fine. The ceremony was held during a dry period of the weekend. This was recognition of about 2 decades worth of work. My prime area is Elizabethan fencing manuals, so Vincentio Saviolo (my favourite) and Giacomo di Grassi being the two prime Italianate manuals of the period. In some ways, I am still coming to terms with this recognition because this research is just "what I do".

Fencing Fest

Fencing Fest XVI was held in the beginning of August. It was, once again, a success. This is an SCA event held each year to get all of the historical fencers of the group together to share their knowledge and cross blades with one another. I started it because there was no dedicated event for this to happen. It has since been copied by various people and used to create other events.

I have been Steward (person in charge) of about a dozen Fencing Fests. They are relatively easy to run, especially when you have the right crew and support. My crew has always been amazing and very supportive. I have decided that this was my last one as Steward, as it is time for someone else to have a go and put their mark on the event. Time for me to move on to something different. Of course, I will always be around to give advice.

Swordplay 2019

I attended Swordplay for the Saturday and Sunday. I helped out a little with some stuff, but mostly spectated and caught up with friends that I do not get to see all that often. I would have been helping with safety except I was unable to. The Thursday before the event I had a liver biopsy, which meant that I was in no condition to be doing anything strenuous. I took it easy. This also meant that I missed several workshops that I wanted to attend, but the liver biopsy was substantially more important. Simply, it had to be done. It was the first time that I had attended a Swordplay with out an official role, an interesting experience.

Relay for Life

Relay for Life is rather special for me. My family has been touched by cancer more often than it probably should have. I have already mentioned that I missed out on participating in 2018. Luckily, I was able to fully participate in this year's event. Rather than walking around the track, as the other teams did, ours fenced for the time that was allocated. 17 hours of fencing, needless to say that we did not all do it at once, but had someone fencing all of the time.

This was an interesting, emotional, and fulfilling experience. It rained, and was foggy, which means there was some serious cleaning of weapons and equipment required afterward, but that also meant it kept things mostly cool which was great for fencing. I wish that I could be in as reasonable condition all of the time. I managed my energy levels by choosing my bouts, a little selfish, but worked out I think. Of course, after the event my fibromyalgia made me pay for it afterward, but I still felt it was worth the experience.

Retirement

Not long after Relay for Life, in fact the day after, I retired as the Head of the School of Historical Defense Arts (SHDA). This is something which I have probably mentioned in a post somewhere in one of my blogs, not necessarily this one. I passed on this duty to one of my students, James Wran, who I believe will do an able job of this position. This was not an easy decision to make, but was one that I had to make for my own good.

I have been Head of SHDA since the beginning some 6 years ago, and I felt it was time that someone else took over. I am not going to go into the specific reasons as it is not appropriate here. Needless to say, this is a decision that I made for my physical and mental health. The result of this has been that I am much more relaxed, and also much more focused. I am now teaching individual sessions rather than group ones, allowing better focus on the student. This is what I do better at anyway.

Letting go was a hard thing to do, but it was something that I needed to do. I still have some ties to the School as I still maintain my rank in terms of examination and obviously knowledge, and will always be around to advise should it be required. I may even be convinced to attend a class every now and then to see how things are going.

Health

Health-wise this year has been pretty good, osteoporosis has gone, the end of it much so. My respiratory specialist did not want to see me until next year, so a yearly visit. This means that my lungs are well on their way to clearing themselves up. Obviously my results from the breathing tests have been really good.

The result of the aforementioned liver biopsy was that the liver was clear, so no sarcoidosis present in it, and the fat content that was present was non-reactive. This means that the liver has gone and cleared up completely. This makes me really happy, so my methotrexate was reduced to a maintenance dose. Hopefully there will be some good news sometime in the new year that it can be removed altogether, which would appeal to me.

On the other side of things, my fibromyalgia is being its usual unpredictable, annoying self. Only time I can predict that something is going to happen with it is when I do something strenuous, then I know I am going to pay for it. Other than that, it is the usual roulette wheel of random pain annoyance.

Just to go on top of this the greatest annoyance is my neck and my left arm. The neck is pushing on some nerves which is giving the expected pain, so sore and stiff neck. This is a problem which I have been doing some exercises for and should have taken to the physio by now, so partially my fault. The left arm was thought to be connected to the neck but the nerve is being pressed on the wrong side.

I am getting nerve pain down the left arm affecting some fingers as well, have been for an extended period of time. "It is not the neck because  the nerve is pressing on the wrong side." or so I keep getting told. I think that the FM is playing silly buggers and messing up the signals, but what do I know. It is not mechanical as there is no blocking or pinching. This is a real mystery issue as the doctor has checked pretty much everything. So, looks like I am carrying this one into 2020, but all in all I am doing better than I have been.

Overall

I have not mentioned arguments. I have not mentioned fights with my wife. I have not mentioned a thousand and one annoyances, like the Australian Prime Minister being a complete d*ck, and taking the nation down paths which it should not go. These are things that I have either gotten past, forgotten about, or decided that they are issues which cannot be solved by me, at least alone. So they have not appeared in this summary of the year. I also did not mention my explorations into philosophy which have taken up quite a bit of my time and been very fulfilling. I wanted to keep things a little upbeat and focus on events, trying to end each part with a positive.

Overall, even taking into account the little annoyances, and the bigger ones, 2019 has been a pretty good year. I have made some real achievements and been recognised for others which I have been making over an extended period of time. It has been a year of changes, where I have had to make the changes in my life, rather than letting things change them for me, this has been really fulfilling and empowering. I will hold on to this power and use it in the future.

Take things as they are, without interpretation and you will find that things are not as bad as you think they are. Make the changes yourself and you will find more power than you ever realised that you had.

Eclipsed?

Greetings,

The question of goals and successes I have spoken on previously. This more article more points at perceptions of success and how we see them, but also how others see them. This article is pointed at those of us who feel that we have been eclipsed in some way be it in social circles, work or other fields of endeavour.

Have you ever felt eclipsed, like someone was out there taking what should be your glory? Have you ever felt like you have been pushed back into the shadows because someone else is more important than you? Have you felt like that you are not the major person with regard to a topic, and that everyone else's achievements are bigger and more important? Everyone has, you are not alone. This can happen in work, in our private lives, in our work and even in our relationships. It is what you do about it which is important.

First, you need to look at the situation with a critical eye, especially toward yourself. If you can not look at yourself honestly then this process will fail. You need to look at yourself and your achievements honestly. You also need to look at the reason for your achievements and efforts as well as this is also important.

So someone is put ahead of you. Is there a reason for this? Have you put in the same level of effort as the person concerned? If not then this is the first place you should look. Have you really put your heart into what you are doing or are you just doing this because it is expected? This is a question we must look at carefully the expectations other people build must not be more important than our own. Your own goals will always have more strength than the expectations of others, and you will always put more effort into your own goals over other's goals which have been set for you.

Sometimes it feels that we have no choice in what we are doing. The truth is that there is always choice but we just might not like the choices which have been presented to us. This can be especially so with regard to work. If your work is not fulfilling, my suggestion is to find fulfillment in something more social or recreational.  There is always somewhere we can find lasting fulfillment, it is simply a matter of finding it.

When you do something you have chosen to do for yourself, not something which has been thrust upon you or expected of you, you will gain more satisfaction in its completion. In many situations this is the only thing that you will get from your efforts as personal goals are just that, personal. The important thing here is that it is your own goal, your own struggle, your own achievement, nothing for anyone to say anything about. Where there are other participants things can become more complicated.

We always compare ourselves against others, either consciously or unconsciously, and regardless we always want to be equal or better than others. This becomes more the case where a particular achievement requires the participation of others. These others can be hurdles to what we want, or they can be seen as fellow participants and a challenge to overcome. Learn what you can from other participants, it can only improve what you are doing in some way.

Most important for ourselves. We need to find things to do that we enjoy, regardless of the other's thoughts. These things need to be constructive rather than destructive in their nature. We need to find things that we want to do and not because someone else said we should or are required to do. We need to find things which we are good at or are willing to put in the work to become good at. We need to find things which we can actually do, there is no point in finding things where the goals are unreachable, thus setting ourselves up for failure. In this we need to be realistic. We need to find things which we want to do, there is no need to fill other's expectations, unless we want to, it is your life live it the way you think best. Most important and above all things...

BE YOURSELF.

Cheers,

Henry.

The Inevitable Crash

Greetings,

Well, I have been cruising now for a couple of weeks doing stuff at home and with regard to several projects. This is not to mention my usual training sessions that I am involved in. All in all I have made some progress over the past couple of weeks, but I know what is coming around the corner... the crash.

The crash for me is usually the result of pushing myself a little hard for a single burst or over a period of time. For the most part in this instance it is the second one. This one has been building up for some time and I have been putting off the rest-breaks I should really have been having. What does this mean? This means I am going to pay for it in the not too distant future. It will probably result in some severe down-time for a couple of days while I recuperate.

At the moment I am putting this one off until after Easter. I have an examination to test in Renaissance fencing to do down near Gosford. My accommodation has been paid as has my flight down so all I have to do is hold this off until I get back and it will all be good. Of course this is going to have to result in some "artificial buoyancy" for the period, mainly consisting of more sugar and caffeine in my system while I am up and the possible increase of some pain medications overnight. Why would I do this to myself you would ask?

Because the effort is worth it. I would rather have some big high points in my life and have to put up with the lows that accompany it than just coast where it is comfortable. This is my nature I am stubborn and I refuse to let my condition determine what I will do in the future. I want to be able to do stuff now, and have the chance to do it again later. If this means that I have to pay for it... so be it. As far as I am concerned hitting the heights is most definitely worth the lows that accompany it.

Cheers,

Henry.

On Goals and Successes

Greetings,

The following entry in this blog is sort of a way of explanation. A couple of days ago I made a post on Facebook and Google+. I will admit that I was a little short tempered at the time and a little unimpressed. So I will present the post below and then explain a little more of what I meant with regard to that expression. The post was as follows:

Just a short bitch... On Goals and Successes
1. Figure out what you want to do.
2. Set your own goals and go toward them.
3. Do not compare your successes to others as it is not a relevant reference for *your* goals.
4. Even if these goals do not yield "real world" results your goals are just as important as peoples' goals which do.
5. Be brave enough to evaluate your own level of work truthfully as you have only one person to blame if you are not getting there.
Sorry, I just needed to get this out of my system.

As I stated, I was unimpressed at the time and now I have some time to look back at what I wrote and give a little more explanation as to what I meant by my five step plan. More to the point I can explain a little about what I have been doing with regard to my own.

1. Figure out what you want to do
We all tend to muddle through life a little at least. I suspect that even with the most focused of minds there are times where the targets are a little blurry. This step is about regaining the focus and figuring out what you want to do with yourself. This lays the foundation for the following steps, and in some ways is one of the most important steps. If you don't know what you want to do it is difficult to set goals for yourself. An important point here is that this target can be small or large, near or far. This is a personal journey.

With regard to this, this is for people who want focus. There are those of us who are quite happy to coast through life. This is fine. This is for when the coasting stops in their case. There are those of us who devote our time to other people all of our time. This is for when they decide that they want to do something for themselves, whether or not this assists others or not. As I have stated, this is a personal journey.

2. Set your own goals and work toward them.
This follows on nicely from the last one. Once you figure out where you want to be, you need to set goals in order to get there. You need short-term goals and long-term goals. Once you have the goals you need to work toward them. Seems relatively simple really, however this can be tricky. If all the goals are long-distance or long-term it will be difficult to see how to get there. Remember that you also need short-term goals as well.

The second part of this is can be a difficult thing. People can set goals but if they do nothing afterward they should not be surprised that they cannot get there. Being a personal journey these goals should not be dependent on other people only ourselves. These are goals for yourself. Do not hinge them on the success of someone else, only your own successes. You need to work toward the goals.

3. Do not compare your successes to others as it is not a relevant reference for your goals.
Even when you are on a similar path, comparing your successes to another's is irrelevant. So a person achieves a goal that you were going for, this does not mean that you should not also go toward it still. So a fellow student out-performs you, this does not reference your goals as theirs are not yours. Your goals are yours to achieve, you are the only person who is relevant in achieving them.

Even more importantly, your goals may be smaller than their goals. This is nothing to be ashamed of. You do what you can. If your goals are small, there will be more of them. It is important that these small goals build to a bigger goal. You need to achieve your goals for yourself.

4. Even if these goals do not yield "real world" results your goals are just as important as people's goals which do.
Everyone likes to hear of goals which are achieved. We hear them on the news, "Professor Smith has found a cure to a disease.", "Joe Blogs has won gold at the Olympics" and so forth. I do not expect that any of the goals which I have achieved or will achieve will ever be noticed in this form. This does not bother me in the least.

Goals which get "real world" acclaim are important, but it does not mean that all goals need to be like this. Every goal is important at least at a personal level for the individual who achieves them. This success is more important than any amount of acclaim which a person gets from the outside. I suppose I need to give a little bit of personal detail here.

I have now been fencing in some form for 20 years. This is an achievement in itself. I have been doing Renaissance martial arts for almost as long with a medieval and Renaissance recreation society for almost as long. In that time I have risen to the top levels in that society. This is an achievement which took at least 10 years out of that 20 year stretch. I have been teaching Renaissance martial arts for some time as well and have had students also raise themselves to the high levels with my assistance. In the "real world" this does not mean much, but it is an achievement that I am proud of. These are my goals, they are important to me, and that is all they need to be important to.

5. Be brave enough to evaluate your own level of work truthfully as you have only one person to blame if you are not getting there.
Self-evaluation is important and is also one of the hardest things. Step 5 is all about being truthful about the amount of work you have put in in order to get your goals. This is about not blaming others for your own lack of success. The only person who can achieve your goals is you, and thus you are the only person who can put in the work to get there.

We need to evaluate our own progress toward our goals and find the reasons for why we are not getting there. In some instances it is because the goal is too far to evaluate the success. In some instances it is because the goal is a bit too big for what we are capable at that point in time. In some instances circumstances have made the situation not appropriate for that goal at that point in time. However we also have to admit that sometimes it is because we have not put in as much work as we should have. In all these instances we have to be honest and find out the real reasons.

Most Important
Most important of all, they are your goals, you have to set them, and you have to work toward them. This is one of those times where people can help you toward your goal but the work is going to have to primarily be done by you. Be honest in your evaluation of your goals and also your efforts toward your goals. Both of these are important.

Cheers,

Henry.