Pain-killers... Oh, How I Loathe Thee.

Greetings,

I need to be a little specific with this topic, and I suspect that this is going to be a little shorter than my usual post. I am going to talk about pain-killers. More to the point I am going to talk about the reasons why I am so disinclined to take them if I can find any other way in which to solve a pain issue. This is probably going to seem a little odd to some.

So, you have a headache. Straight to the medicine cabinet, pop two pills, be they aspirin or paracetamol, and everything is good, right? For most people I would say that this is how things work. So I had a headache last night, with neck pain and back pain. According to the description above it should have been simple, follow the instructions have the pain-killers and be done with it, right? In my case not so easy. This is more than a simple choice to make, in fact it can be quite a bit more complex.

First of all, due to being on methotrexate for sarcoidosis (which is on the retreat I am glad to say) I cannot take aspirin due to the blood-thinning agents in both medications, also I cannot take paracetamol due to the liver issues associated with the combinations. This effectively takes out things like panadol, panadol forte, aspalgin, mersyndol and mersyndol forte. Pretty much all the over the counter stuff is gone, along with some which you can need a prescription for.

What does this leave? This leaves wonderful things like MS Contin, which is a morphine derivative, and Tramadol which is a synthetic drug designed to stop the pain signals to the brain. Or at least these are the two wonderful drugs I have been prescribed in addition to my usual drugs taken for FM. The Tramadol is the main one, but in order to take this I have to make choices.

I don't like taking the MS Contin for obvious reasons, however I can take that whenever I need it as it has no real reactions besides the above to anything else I am on. The Tramadol on the other hand reacts with the anti-depressant that I am on in the evening, so I need to make a choice of one or the other. Not a great choice I can tell you.

In the taking of either of the drugs, I know for a fact that I am going to be have "brain fuzz" for at least 24 hours if not longer. This is like the good old FM fog, i.e. can't think straight, lose track of things and all those wonderful symptoms. The big reason why I really dislike taking the pain-killers. Pain goes away, leaves the disgusting fuzz behind. For the most part I will do anything in order to not take either of them. This includes putting up with the pain, having a warm shower (which helps a surprising amount), going to bed early if it is in the evening (and sometimes during the day, not all that often if I can help it), or just trying not to think about it and working around it. 

Of course the other big reason why I do not like taking the pain-killers is because I do not want to end up dependent and upping the doses as my body gets used to them. I do not feel like being dependent on "big-dose" pain-killers at all. The concept of being like this and dependent on them is something that I will avoid as best I can, and if that means I go without, well so be it. Needless to say, I keep my pain levels under reasonable control as best I can, and will put up with the pain for the most part until I can't. Pain-killers for me are a last resort.

Cheers,

Henry.

Out of Control

Greetings,

We all like to think that we have some control over ourselves and our surroundings. I can tell you that this is an illusion, it is a comfortable illusion, but an illusion nonetheless. The focus of this article is on the tenuous control that a person with FM has upon their lives and also some ideas I have about getting some more of the control back. Big note with regard to this, each case is individual, some of this may work for you and some of it may not.

There are two elements to the body which will be discussed, the mind and the body. Ironically the one which we think that we have most control of is actually the one which we have least control of and vice versa. With this idea firmly planted, I am going to have a look at some situations which I have been faced with and some of the ways that I deal with various elements in my life.

Triggers and Planning

One of the greatest problems that I find with fibromyalgia is the randomness of the condition, and this is directly related to control and it is here that we can get some control back. We all know that we have triggers which will set our FM off either in the short-term or the long-term. The greatest control that we have is acknowledging these triggers and relating them back to their causes, not their symptoms which we know so well, but their causes.

For those of us who have been living with our condition for some time, the triggers are self-evident and we have grown accustomed to their presence and know the consequences. For those who have been dealing with the condition on the shorter term, my advice is to get a diary and record things, everyday things, and figure out the patterns. The triggers may be mental and the triggers may be physical both have an effect.

In my particular case I hate being tied down and being told that I can't. What this results in is me pushing myself physically a lot. I know that one of my triggers is over-doing things on a particular day. I know for sure that the fibromyalgia will come back and bite me in the arse the next day. I also know that stressful situations will also cause issues for me. These are especially the case where the stress is definitively emotional. Sure getting pissed off raises the endorphins and the adrenalin, however the crash will always come about. The symptoms I have described here are some of my triggers.

Once you know some of your triggers you can start to plan. If an activity causes you to have a flare-up the next day, plan it for a day where you have the next day where you can relax, and expect to. If there is a particular type of weather which causes you issues, which I know is the case for me, watch the weather report and this may help you plan for the next day. Of course there are those times where the FM rears its ugly head without explanation, we still have to deal with these and it is here where the control is seen to be an illusion. The trick here is to do what you can in order to plan. Even if it only helps a little, this is a little more than you had before.

The Body

We all have this belief that we are all in full control of our bodies. If this is the case we should be able to raise our immune systems from the inside during flu seasons. If this was the case then things like heart attacks and strokes would be things of the past. The thing is that the body is a complex mechanism which we are still trying to understand. In the case of a person with FM things become even more tricky.

My idea to write this particular post was the result of a particularly bad day on one which I thought was going to be a good one. I got a reasonable amount of sleep, the temperature was reasonable and the weather was reasonably settled. Should have been a good day for me. Did not happen. Before too long the symptoms began to build, shaking in the hands resulting in pain later on. Headache building due to my neck being an issue, and of course the infamous "FM fuzz" which I hate the most. As a result of this I decided that I should write something about what was going on (Obviously not the day I am writing this).

According to all of my "trigger data" it should have been a good day, but things just decided that it was time to go downhill. It was really frustrating for me I can tell you, I had plans for that day and obviously they went out the window. It is this lack of control that is the thing that annoys me the most. Sure we can plan, as indicated above, but the control is something which is very tenuous. For the most part where most other people have predictability, this is lacking in a person with FM. The one big thing that I have noticed with FM is the sharp reduction in control that the condition results in.

Ironically, while the body is the one which reveals the most symptoms in most cases it is the one which is the most out of control. The control over the body is a nice illusion which we all cling to. Sure there are elements of the physical situation which we can control, but there are also those which we simply cannot. The sooner people realise this the better in my opinion. Once they can do this then they can identify those elements which they can control and focus on them.

The Mind

A person starts taking about controlling the mind and most people, especially those with a sci-fi brain will automatically start thinking about "mind control", not what I am talking about. I am talking about taking some control of our own minds using our minds, and thus gaining some control over our situation. Sounds a little "fuzzy" in nature, be assured I am not going to start expecting people to light candles and the rest of it, this is something different.

The mind, your mind, is stronger than you may think. I can point this out relatively easily. There are mental symptoms which will result in physical effects. Perfect example is if someone starts talking about scratching an itch others will more than likely start scratching themselves. In the case of a person with fibromyalgia the effects can be much more wide-spread. In my particular case I find that certain stressful situations can bring on the physical effects of FM. Increasing stress in a situation can cause a my FM to cause me all sorts of problems.

From the other side of things, mental symptoms can also result in mental effects. Being around people who are tired or depressed can result in us being tired or depressed ourselves. Thus within ourselves if we find a particular situation which is tiring we can begin to feel tired. Indeed I have found that if I discuss my condition too much with people highlighting the various issues, some of them can manifest, especially the mental aspects.

So, there are mental symptoms which can create both mental and physical effects. This both tells us the effects which the mind can have upon us, however, it also tells us that we can also control effects through the use of the mind. I have found that through thought processes and active thinking about things I can reduce the effects of my FM on myself. For the most part it is simply telling myself that I do not have the time for the flare-up at that point in time, or more often that I will get through what needs to be done. It is the positive thoughts which can be our allies. You will find that negative thoughts can have negative effects while positive thoughts can have positive effects. The trick, you actually have to believe in what you are telling yourself. If you don't it will not work.

I have previously discussed the idea of triggers and planning. This was mostly focused on the physical aspects of FM, but what should be noted here is that the same can be used against the mental aspects as well. Of course, the same reduction in control is also present and we need to be aware of this.

With regard to the mental aspects of fibromyalgia the biggest shock to my system was when I was diagnosed with depression as a part of my condition. This was quite a shock to me at the time I can tell you. I have since had a thought about it and it is simply the result of being sick for so long. In general I am quite a positive person. I always look for ways around or ways through problems rather than letting them beat me. I personally attribute this positive aspect of my nature as a great asset and assistance to me. It is also the reason why I was so shocked about the diagnosis, and resisted it for a long time. Yes, I am on medication for my depression and it does help. Keeping positive and active I have found is a great asset and has helped significantly with my FM.

Conclusion

Control is an illusion for the most part, however there are aspects of our lives which we can control. The trick I have found is to have the ammunition to fight the issues which I come across. Finding out my own triggers and planning for what is to come has been a great asset to me in order to gain back some control. Taking control of our own lives and our own conditions can only be an asset to us.

The biggest secret in all of this is that while control is an illusion there are aspects which you can control. The secret to this is finding things out and doing things about them. You are stronger than you think you are. You can find ways to deal with the issues that confront you. Your mind is a great weapon. Your positive thoughts about yourself are a great weapon. Do not think that you can win, know you can. Find those things which you can control and use them, especially against those which you can't.

FM: Without Pictures

Greetings,

So, today (12 May 2013) is Fibromyalgia Awareness Day, who knew right? I am sure that there are some of my readers out there who knew. There is part of the problem. So, rather than my recently frequent ramblings about motivational subjects and various other bits and pieces, I decided it is time to get back "on point" and talk about fibromyalgia. More to the point some important factors which make it such an invisible illness. Pictures.

Who has seen pictures of cancers? Who has seen pictures of broken bones? Who has seen pictures of burst blood vessels resulting in strokes? I am sure that we all have in the media in some form or another. How about this, who has seen a picture of the effect of FM? On an X-ray? On an ultra-sound? I will bet that most have not. This is one of the things that makes FM one of the "invisible illnesses".

We do not have pictures that we can show people to show them the evidence of what is going on with us. In a very visual world this is a problem. We have not shocking pictures to show. People do not see what is going on inside us, so people do not see what is happening, as a result we are invisible. We do have pain, unfortunately the cause is untraceable. We cannot show a broken bone, an inflamed tendon or anything else for that matter so it is hard to say what is going on. More to the point it is hard to have people know what is going on.

What makes it worse is that because we have no pictures, we often find it hard to tell people what is going on. People have a hard time believing in what they cannot see. Because we are not in pain all of the time it does not get seen. When we are in pain due to the previous we get accused of calling attention to ourselves or faking it. Why? Because the cause cannot be seen. Sure people who know us know what is going on, but they have to know us really well to really understand. We fear that there is always the behind closed doors, "I think so-and-so is faking it." is said. Even when there is pain all of the time it is still difficult to see what is going on, so we have the same results.

This is the way it is, so what can we do about it? How many of the people you know have heard of fibromyalgia? How many people you know, know what fibromyalgia is? If you are reading this and have FM, how many of the people that know you understand what you go through? The only way that this is going to change is by making it more visible. We need to tell people who know us what is going on and make them understand what is going on. We need to tell more people about this problem and that it does exist. The least thing that can happen is that one person that you know will better understand you, and that is a start.

So what am I doing? Recently I have decided to make this blog go public. Before it was a more personal thing and was shared here and there. These days I publicise it through Google+ whenever I make a post. I also publicise this blog through Facebook. I encourage you to help me with this and do the same thing, even if you only find one thing helpful or useful or interesting or which hits home to you. Share it. More to the point, if you find others doing the same thing, do the same for them. If you find groups supporting those with FM, publicise them. If you have friends or relations with FM tell them about these sites and groups, it can only help.

Oh, and one more thing, have a great day reader, and thank you for taking your precious time to read this. Your encouragement helps me, and that encouragement helps me write, and I hope that this helps those who read it.

Cheers,

Henry.

Eclipsed?

Greetings,

The question of goals and successes I have spoken on previously. This more article more points at perceptions of success and how we see them, but also how others see them. This article is pointed at those of us who feel that we have been eclipsed in some way be it in social circles, work or other fields of endeavour.

Have you ever felt eclipsed, like someone was out there taking what should be your glory? Have you ever felt like you have been pushed back into the shadows because someone else is more important than you? Have you felt like that you are not the major person with regard to a topic, and that everyone else's achievements are bigger and more important? Everyone has, you are not alone. This can happen in work, in our private lives, in our work and even in our relationships. It is what you do about it which is important.

First, you need to look at the situation with a critical eye, especially toward yourself. If you can not look at yourself honestly then this process will fail. You need to look at yourself and your achievements honestly. You also need to look at the reason for your achievements and efforts as well as this is also important.

So someone is put ahead of you. Is there a reason for this? Have you put in the same level of effort as the person concerned? If not then this is the first place you should look. Have you really put your heart into what you are doing or are you just doing this because it is expected? This is a question we must look at carefully the expectations other people build must not be more important than our own. Your own goals will always have more strength than the expectations of others, and you will always put more effort into your own goals over other's goals which have been set for you.

Sometimes it feels that we have no choice in what we are doing. The truth is that there is always choice but we just might not like the choices which have been presented to us. This can be especially so with regard to work. If your work is not fulfilling, my suggestion is to find fulfillment in something more social or recreational.  There is always somewhere we can find lasting fulfillment, it is simply a matter of finding it.

When you do something you have chosen to do for yourself, not something which has been thrust upon you or expected of you, you will gain more satisfaction in its completion. In many situations this is the only thing that you will get from your efforts as personal goals are just that, personal. The important thing here is that it is your own goal, your own struggle, your own achievement, nothing for anyone to say anything about. Where there are other participants things can become more complicated.

We always compare ourselves against others, either consciously or unconsciously, and regardless we always want to be equal or better than others. This becomes more the case where a particular achievement requires the participation of others. These others can be hurdles to what we want, or they can be seen as fellow participants and a challenge to overcome. Learn what you can from other participants, it can only improve what you are doing in some way.

Most important for ourselves. We need to find things to do that we enjoy, regardless of the other's thoughts. These things need to be constructive rather than destructive in their nature. We need to find things that we want to do and not because someone else said we should or are required to do. We need to find things which we are good at or are willing to put in the work to become good at. We need to find things which we can actually do, there is no point in finding things where the goals are unreachable, thus setting ourselves up for failure. In this we need to be realistic. We need to find things which we want to do, there is no need to fill other's expectations, unless we want to, it is your life live it the way you think best. Most important and above all things...

BE YOURSELF.

Cheers,

Henry.