Greetings,
I have been feeling like garbage of late, and every time I go and see a doctor, they seem to have either "situation not changed" or bad news to tell me. Needless to say I have been going through a bit of a bout of depression and it has been affecting things, well, a lot really. I had been finding convenient excuses not to do things, or putting things off, or just not doing things at all. So I had been coasting, doing only what I really needed to survive. In my books this is being semi-dead.
Yesterday I got back on the treadmill after an absence from it for about five months. So I decided a casual stroll would do the trick to warm things up again. So I did 20 minutes at 4.5 kph, this results in 1.49 kilometers or thereabouts. Sorry about the metric measurements, its what I mostly use. This is about where I like to start with the exercise thing. That was it.
The plan is that any night that I am at home, 6pm will roll around and my alarm on my phone will go off and I will go and get on the treadmill again. This is to get some of my long-lost endurance back again and also some fitness in my legs as well. Needless to say, as I progress the time and speed will increase, more than likely it will be the speed that increases first.
Sounds simple right, yes, it is. That is the point. You have to start simple and then work up to things. At some point in time I am hoping to advance things to a stage where I can even do the treadmill on nights when I have training and not have the threat of being too stuffed to teach of train. More to the point I started, and that is the bigger thing.
I had not started because sometime in the next year I am going to get my knee operated on which is going to put me out for some weeks at least. Next there was a threat that I might have a brain tumour, turned out to be a false alarm, YAY! My neck is still a mess so off to a neurosurgeon I go to see what can happen about that, or at least a referral will get written and I will go on a waiting list. You get the idea, things just kept piling up higher and higher (this is just the short version by the way).
Only way out of this one was to stand up and decide it was not going to run it all for me. Yes, I will end up off my feet for a while, but until then I can get back doing things and the fitness will help my recovery. Sure my neck is going to be irritating, but there are ways for coping with that. It was simply time I got off my butt and did something that I could do about it all, not wait until some medical professional said I could. There will be more training ahead for me, and more fencing too, because I can do it.
So, what can you do?
Cheers,
Henry.
Showing posts with label problem solving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label problem solving. Show all posts
Monday, March 13, 2017
Friday, March 15, 2013
On Goals and Successes
Greetings,
The following entry in this blog is sort of a way of explanation. A couple of days ago I made a post on Facebook and Google+. I will admit that I was a little short tempered at the time and a little unimpressed. So I will present the post below and then explain a little more of what I meant with regard to that expression. The post was as follows:
1. Figure out what you want to do
We all tend to muddle through life a little at least. I suspect that even with the most focused of minds there are times where the targets are a little blurry. This step is about regaining the focus and figuring out what you want to do with yourself. This lays the foundation for the following steps, and in some ways is one of the most important steps. If you don't know what you want to do it is difficult to set goals for yourself. An important point here is that this target can be small or large, near or far. This is a personal journey.
With regard to this, this is for people who want focus. There are those of us who are quite happy to coast through life. This is fine. This is for when the coasting stops in their case. There are those of us who devote our time to other people all of our time. This is for when they decide that they want to do something for themselves, whether or not this assists others or not. As I have stated, this is a personal journey.
2. Set your own goals and work toward them.
This follows on nicely from the last one. Once you figure out where you want to be, you need to set goals in order to get there. You need short-term goals and long-term goals. Once you have the goals you need to work toward them. Seems relatively simple really, however this can be tricky. If all the goals are long-distance or long-term it will be difficult to see how to get there. Remember that you also need short-term goals as well.
The second part of this is can be a difficult thing. People can set goals but if they do nothing afterward they should not be surprised that they cannot get there. Being a personal journey these goals should not be dependent on other people only ourselves. These are goals for yourself. Do not hinge them on the success of someone else, only your own successes. You need to work toward the goals.
3. Do not compare your successes to others as it is not a relevant reference for your goals.
Even when you are on a similar path, comparing your successes to another's is irrelevant. So a person achieves a goal that you were going for, this does not mean that you should not also go toward it still. So a fellow student out-performs you, this does not reference your goals as theirs are not yours. Your goals are yours to achieve, you are the only person who is relevant in achieving them.
Even more importantly, your goals may be smaller than their goals. This is nothing to be ashamed of. You do what you can. If your goals are small, there will be more of them. It is important that these small goals build to a bigger goal. You need to achieve your goals for yourself.
4. Even if these goals do not yield "real world" results your goals are just as important as people's goals which do.
Everyone likes to hear of goals which are achieved. We hear them on the news, "Professor Smith has found a cure to a disease.", "Joe Blogs has won gold at the Olympics" and so forth. I do not expect that any of the goals which I have achieved or will achieve will ever be noticed in this form. This does not bother me in the least.
Goals which get "real world" acclaim are important, but it does not mean that all goals need to be like this. Every goal is important at least at a personal level for the individual who achieves them. This success is more important than any amount of acclaim which a person gets from the outside. I suppose I need to give a little bit of personal detail here.
I have now been fencing in some form for 20 years. This is an achievement in itself. I have been doing Renaissance martial arts for almost as long with a medieval and Renaissance recreation society for almost as long. In that time I have risen to the top levels in that society. This is an achievement which took at least 10 years out of that 20 year stretch. I have been teaching Renaissance martial arts for some time as well and have had students also raise themselves to the high levels with my assistance. In the "real world" this does not mean much, but it is an achievement that I am proud of. These are my goals, they are important to me, and that is all they need to be important to.
5. Be brave enough to evaluate your own level of work truthfully as you have only one person to blame if you are not getting there.
Self-evaluation is important and is also one of the hardest things. Step 5 is all about being truthful about the amount of work you have put in in order to get your goals. This is about not blaming others for your own lack of success. The only person who can achieve your goals is you, and thus you are the only person who can put in the work to get there.
We need to evaluate our own progress toward our goals and find the reasons for why we are not getting there. In some instances it is because the goal is too far to evaluate the success. In some instances it is because the goal is a bit too big for what we are capable at that point in time. In some instances circumstances have made the situation not appropriate for that goal at that point in time. However we also have to admit that sometimes it is because we have not put in as much work as we should have. In all these instances we have to be honest and find out the real reasons.
Most Important
Most important of all, they are your goals, you have to set them, and you have to work toward them. This is one of those times where people can help you toward your goal but the work is going to have to primarily be done by you. Be honest in your evaluation of your goals and also your efforts toward your goals. Both of these are important.
Cheers,
Henry.
The following entry in this blog is sort of a way of explanation. A couple of days ago I made a post on Facebook and Google+. I will admit that I was a little short tempered at the time and a little unimpressed. So I will present the post below and then explain a little more of what I meant with regard to that expression. The post was as follows:
Just a short bitch... On Goals and SuccessesAs I stated, I was unimpressed at the time and now I have some time to look back at what I wrote and give a little more explanation as to what I meant by my five step plan. More to the point I can explain a little about what I have been doing with regard to my own.
1. Figure out what you want to do.
2. Set your own goals and go toward them.
3. Do not compare your successes to others as it is not a relevant reference for *your* goals.
4. Even if these goals do not yield "real world" results your goals are just as important as peoples' goals which do.
5. Be brave enough to evaluate your own level of work truthfully as you have only one person to blame if you are not getting there.
Sorry, I just needed to get this out of my system.
1. Figure out what you want to do
We all tend to muddle through life a little at least. I suspect that even with the most focused of minds there are times where the targets are a little blurry. This step is about regaining the focus and figuring out what you want to do with yourself. This lays the foundation for the following steps, and in some ways is one of the most important steps. If you don't know what you want to do it is difficult to set goals for yourself. An important point here is that this target can be small or large, near or far. This is a personal journey.
With regard to this, this is for people who want focus. There are those of us who are quite happy to coast through life. This is fine. This is for when the coasting stops in their case. There are those of us who devote our time to other people all of our time. This is for when they decide that they want to do something for themselves, whether or not this assists others or not. As I have stated, this is a personal journey.
2. Set your own goals and work toward them.
This follows on nicely from the last one. Once you figure out where you want to be, you need to set goals in order to get there. You need short-term goals and long-term goals. Once you have the goals you need to work toward them. Seems relatively simple really, however this can be tricky. If all the goals are long-distance or long-term it will be difficult to see how to get there. Remember that you also need short-term goals as well.
The second part of this is can be a difficult thing. People can set goals but if they do nothing afterward they should not be surprised that they cannot get there. Being a personal journey these goals should not be dependent on other people only ourselves. These are goals for yourself. Do not hinge them on the success of someone else, only your own successes. You need to work toward the goals.
3. Do not compare your successes to others as it is not a relevant reference for your goals.
Even when you are on a similar path, comparing your successes to another's is irrelevant. So a person achieves a goal that you were going for, this does not mean that you should not also go toward it still. So a fellow student out-performs you, this does not reference your goals as theirs are not yours. Your goals are yours to achieve, you are the only person who is relevant in achieving them.
Even more importantly, your goals may be smaller than their goals. This is nothing to be ashamed of. You do what you can. If your goals are small, there will be more of them. It is important that these small goals build to a bigger goal. You need to achieve your goals for yourself.
4. Even if these goals do not yield "real world" results your goals are just as important as people's goals which do.
Everyone likes to hear of goals which are achieved. We hear them on the news, "Professor Smith has found a cure to a disease.", "Joe Blogs has won gold at the Olympics" and so forth. I do not expect that any of the goals which I have achieved or will achieve will ever be noticed in this form. This does not bother me in the least.
Goals which get "real world" acclaim are important, but it does not mean that all goals need to be like this. Every goal is important at least at a personal level for the individual who achieves them. This success is more important than any amount of acclaim which a person gets from the outside. I suppose I need to give a little bit of personal detail here.
I have now been fencing in some form for 20 years. This is an achievement in itself. I have been doing Renaissance martial arts for almost as long with a medieval and Renaissance recreation society for almost as long. In that time I have risen to the top levels in that society. This is an achievement which took at least 10 years out of that 20 year stretch. I have been teaching Renaissance martial arts for some time as well and have had students also raise themselves to the high levels with my assistance. In the "real world" this does not mean much, but it is an achievement that I am proud of. These are my goals, they are important to me, and that is all they need to be important to.
5. Be brave enough to evaluate your own level of work truthfully as you have only one person to blame if you are not getting there.
Self-evaluation is important and is also one of the hardest things. Step 5 is all about being truthful about the amount of work you have put in in order to get your goals. This is about not blaming others for your own lack of success. The only person who can achieve your goals is you, and thus you are the only person who can put in the work to get there.
We need to evaluate our own progress toward our goals and find the reasons for why we are not getting there. In some instances it is because the goal is too far to evaluate the success. In some instances it is because the goal is a bit too big for what we are capable at that point in time. In some instances circumstances have made the situation not appropriate for that goal at that point in time. However we also have to admit that sometimes it is because we have not put in as much work as we should have. In all these instances we have to be honest and find out the real reasons.
Most Important
Most important of all, they are your goals, you have to set them, and you have to work toward them. This is one of those times where people can help you toward your goal but the work is going to have to primarily be done by you. Be honest in your evaluation of your goals and also your efforts toward your goals. Both of these are important.
Cheers,
Henry.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
FM for Others
Greetings,
The idea of what other people can do to help a person with fibromyalgia has been something which has been rattling around in my head of late. This mainly comes from a point of people not understanding what having FM is like and also not understanding about what a person with fibromyalgia really wants in the way of support. In some ways this comes from not understanding the condition itself, but it is not just that.
Dealing with someone with a chronic condition is difficult for others most especially where they do not understand what the person wants. It is even more difficult where the person with the condition is unable to articulate what is going on or what they want. In this way it is really a two-way street in that information needs to be flowing in both directions for real understanding. With this situation in play, it is of little surprise that people get frustrated, on both sides.
So I will start with something simple. A person (friend or family) with FM approaches you and looks like they are not doing well at that time. As well as many of us have learnt to hide our pain, there is still evidence of it present. You ask how they are doing, they give you a list of what hurts and in what way (if you are lucky). Here is where people go wrong, it is not sympathy that the person wants here, they want some understanding and empathy. This is a not a competition for the "Mine hurts more than yours" trophy. You will find that empathising with the person will do a lot more for them than sympathy.
One of the greatest things about FM is the feeling of being alone. When a person empathises with them with regard to their condition, and they can see even a glimmer of understanding, the individual with the FM can see that they are not alone, and will begin to feel better. This is really simple but really useful. Sympathy is like a pat on the head and a pass off to the next topic. Empathy is engagement with another person with a degree of understanding and this is so much more useful.
The feeling of being alone also affects other things especially where it comes to getting support which can aid them. The feeling of being isolated means that many develop tough skins and become highly independent individuals. Used to struggling alone and dealing with what they can. This independence unfortunately also makes it difficult for them to ask for help, even when it is really needed. This is where some of the understanding which was mentioned before becomes even more important.
If it is your first time dealing with a person with a chronic condition knowing what to do and when is hard. This is because it is difficult to understand what is going on with the individual. It is at this time that engagement on your part is necessary, remember the point about empathy made before. Once you understand what is going on it is easier to see the signs where help would be appreciated, even if it is not asked for.
It is surprising but at this point in time, it is where the small things help. Getting an item, or volunteering to do so is helpful. Even if the request is denied, once again there is the feeling of not being alone as indicated above. Many people with FM have issues with asking for help due to some of the stigma attached to the condition, so they will often struggle, or simply do without. Small amounts of assistance go a long way at this point in time. Simple things will all person to understand that help is out there and all they have to do is ask. This may take some time though.
Most of the highly independent individuals will push until they cannot, and even at this point in time will deny help, it is at this point in time if help is denied, it may help to be a little forceful in your approach. Encouraging the help will often break through such stubbornness and make the individual realise that it is okay to ask for help, or even accept it.
This is a rather rough guide for dealing with an individual with FM. It can also apply to people with other conditions also. Many of these individuals will not ask for help, but when it is offered will take it, or understand that they are not alone. Remember it is understanding that these people want, a degree of empathy. Sympathy is a stop-gap measure, empathy and understanding are much more useful and give much more aid.
Cheers,
Henry.
The idea of what other people can do to help a person with fibromyalgia has been something which has been rattling around in my head of late. This mainly comes from a point of people not understanding what having FM is like and also not understanding about what a person with fibromyalgia really wants in the way of support. In some ways this comes from not understanding the condition itself, but it is not just that.
Dealing with someone with a chronic condition is difficult for others most especially where they do not understand what the person wants. It is even more difficult where the person with the condition is unable to articulate what is going on or what they want. In this way it is really a two-way street in that information needs to be flowing in both directions for real understanding. With this situation in play, it is of little surprise that people get frustrated, on both sides.
So I will start with something simple. A person (friend or family) with FM approaches you and looks like they are not doing well at that time. As well as many of us have learnt to hide our pain, there is still evidence of it present. You ask how they are doing, they give you a list of what hurts and in what way (if you are lucky). Here is where people go wrong, it is not sympathy that the person wants here, they want some understanding and empathy. This is a not a competition for the "Mine hurts more than yours" trophy. You will find that empathising with the person will do a lot more for them than sympathy.
One of the greatest things about FM is the feeling of being alone. When a person empathises with them with regard to their condition, and they can see even a glimmer of understanding, the individual with the FM can see that they are not alone, and will begin to feel better. This is really simple but really useful. Sympathy is like a pat on the head and a pass off to the next topic. Empathy is engagement with another person with a degree of understanding and this is so much more useful.
The feeling of being alone also affects other things especially where it comes to getting support which can aid them. The feeling of being isolated means that many develop tough skins and become highly independent individuals. Used to struggling alone and dealing with what they can. This independence unfortunately also makes it difficult for them to ask for help, even when it is really needed. This is where some of the understanding which was mentioned before becomes even more important.
If it is your first time dealing with a person with a chronic condition knowing what to do and when is hard. This is because it is difficult to understand what is going on with the individual. It is at this time that engagement on your part is necessary, remember the point about empathy made before. Once you understand what is going on it is easier to see the signs where help would be appreciated, even if it is not asked for.
It is surprising but at this point in time, it is where the small things help. Getting an item, or volunteering to do so is helpful. Even if the request is denied, once again there is the feeling of not being alone as indicated above. Many people with FM have issues with asking for help due to some of the stigma attached to the condition, so they will often struggle, or simply do without. Small amounts of assistance go a long way at this point in time. Simple things will all person to understand that help is out there and all they have to do is ask. This may take some time though.
Most of the highly independent individuals will push until they cannot, and even at this point in time will deny help, it is at this point in time if help is denied, it may help to be a little forceful in your approach. Encouraging the help will often break through such stubbornness and make the individual realise that it is okay to ask for help, or even accept it.
This is a rather rough guide for dealing with an individual with FM. It can also apply to people with other conditions also. Many of these individuals will not ask for help, but when it is offered will take it, or understand that they are not alone. Remember it is understanding that these people want, a degree of empathy. Sympathy is a stop-gap measure, empathy and understanding are much more useful and give much more aid.
Cheers,
Henry.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
What Can I Do About It?
Greetings,
Interesting question huh? The first question that will be asked of me with regard to this particular question is "What can I do about what?" There is a very simple response to this, but one that needs a little bit of qualification and explanation. From this there are questions about actively doing things and what this will require of the individual, and also some processes that you can go through to get there. Now, these are just my ideas applied to things in a generic fashion, each problem will require its own approach.
What can I do about what?
The simple answer to this is "everything". Everything has a solution and everything can have something done about it. In some instances what can be done about something is simply the wisdom to know whether you can actually do something about it. There is no point in wasting energy beating against a problem you can actually do nothing about. On the other side of this is also knowing the difference between those things you can do something about and those things which you cannot do anything about. If you can't do anything about it, there is also no point in focussing on it, leave it alone and move on. If you can do something about it, you then need the courage to stand up and actually do something about it. In some instances it will be easy, in most it won't.
Taking charge
Taking charge is about not sitting around waiting for a solution to be dropped into your lap. Taking charge is about actively going out and seeking a solution to a problem yourself. It is important that you do it yourself and not rely on other people to do it for you. Your problem, you need to be doing something about it. Go and find out what you can do about it, and then actually do it. There are always options available, one of those options is doing nothing, the other options are sometimes not the best to choose from, but if they are what you have, then they are what you have.
Doing things yourself
Doing things yourself is an important aspect of problem solving. Problems are often best solved by ourselves and in our own ways. Other people can help us with it, but in the end it is really a "do it yourself thing". With regard to doing things yourself, the first thing is that you have to find what works for you. For some this means taking the problem head-on, for others it means skirting around it and doing a little at a time. You need to figure out what is going to work for you. This approach can even be modified by the problem itself. The next part is making sure that you do not push too hard too fast. You need a measured response to the problem and a measured approach to the solution. There is no point in burning yourself out otherwise it will just make things harder for you later.
Focus on "can" rather than "can't"
Many people are too busy focussed on what they can't do to realise the great lot of things that they can do. It is important that you focus on those things that you can do rather than those you can't. This way you will find more things that you can do and this will improve things for you. This is an attitude thing more than anything. You need to focus on the positive side of things and find those advantages you can use to aid you. Being positive is a great advantage.
Importance of positivity
Being positive is important especially in problem solving. Attacking a problem with a positive frame of mind allows you to see what you can do more than what you can't do and this will assist you greatly. Positive thought will also have a positive effect on your emotional state as it will allow you to have more positive emotions, and thus more positive emotional responses. This has a strong link to the mental side of things which is also strongly effected by a positive or negative approach to things. If you are mentally more positive it is more likely that you will find more things that you can do. This is because you will be actively seeking them. A negative attitude will limit your mental approach to the problem solving and will restrict you. The positive approach will also improve you physically as well. Positive feelings will help you feel much better than if you are being negative about things.
Asking for help
Asking for help can sometimes be a problem for people. Some people feel that if they ask for help they are showing weakness and this will reflect negatively on them. In the case of very independent people this can be a real problem as they do not really know how to ask for help. Asking for help is not and admission of failure in any way, shape or form. It is just an admission that some assistance will further you toward your goal. You need to know how to ask for help and also when to ask for help, as most people will actually quite willingly give you assistance if they are able. The other part of this is that unless you do ask for help, do not expect any. People are not mind-readers, they need to be told that you need assistance.
In writing this, some will ask "What right does he have?" I will say, "None really, just giving advice." These are some of the things that I have found myself when it comes to problems. As anyone who knows me will confirm, I am one of the worst for asking for help, and as such I should really take my own advice, and I do try to. The important thing here is that we all need to look at problems and see what we can do about it, and if we can to actually do something about it. Have a look at the situation. Figure out what you can do about it. If you can, do something about it. Figure yourself out a plan and work at it, and don't forget to ask for help if you need it.
Cheers,
Henry.
Interesting question huh? The first question that will be asked of me with regard to this particular question is "What can I do about what?" There is a very simple response to this, but one that needs a little bit of qualification and explanation. From this there are questions about actively doing things and what this will require of the individual, and also some processes that you can go through to get there. Now, these are just my ideas applied to things in a generic fashion, each problem will require its own approach.
What can I do about what?
The simple answer to this is "everything". Everything has a solution and everything can have something done about it. In some instances what can be done about something is simply the wisdom to know whether you can actually do something about it. There is no point in wasting energy beating against a problem you can actually do nothing about. On the other side of this is also knowing the difference between those things you can do something about and those things which you cannot do anything about. If you can't do anything about it, there is also no point in focussing on it, leave it alone and move on. If you can do something about it, you then need the courage to stand up and actually do something about it. In some instances it will be easy, in most it won't.
Taking charge
Taking charge is about not sitting around waiting for a solution to be dropped into your lap. Taking charge is about actively going out and seeking a solution to a problem yourself. It is important that you do it yourself and not rely on other people to do it for you. Your problem, you need to be doing something about it. Go and find out what you can do about it, and then actually do it. There are always options available, one of those options is doing nothing, the other options are sometimes not the best to choose from, but if they are what you have, then they are what you have.
Doing things yourself
Doing things yourself is an important aspect of problem solving. Problems are often best solved by ourselves and in our own ways. Other people can help us with it, but in the end it is really a "do it yourself thing". With regard to doing things yourself, the first thing is that you have to find what works for you. For some this means taking the problem head-on, for others it means skirting around it and doing a little at a time. You need to figure out what is going to work for you. This approach can even be modified by the problem itself. The next part is making sure that you do not push too hard too fast. You need a measured response to the problem and a measured approach to the solution. There is no point in burning yourself out otherwise it will just make things harder for you later.
Focus on "can" rather than "can't"
Many people are too busy focussed on what they can't do to realise the great lot of things that they can do. It is important that you focus on those things that you can do rather than those you can't. This way you will find more things that you can do and this will improve things for you. This is an attitude thing more than anything. You need to focus on the positive side of things and find those advantages you can use to aid you. Being positive is a great advantage.
Importance of positivity
Being positive is important especially in problem solving. Attacking a problem with a positive frame of mind allows you to see what you can do more than what you can't do and this will assist you greatly. Positive thought will also have a positive effect on your emotional state as it will allow you to have more positive emotions, and thus more positive emotional responses. This has a strong link to the mental side of things which is also strongly effected by a positive or negative approach to things. If you are mentally more positive it is more likely that you will find more things that you can do. This is because you will be actively seeking them. A negative attitude will limit your mental approach to the problem solving and will restrict you. The positive approach will also improve you physically as well. Positive feelings will help you feel much better than if you are being negative about things.
Asking for help
Asking for help can sometimes be a problem for people. Some people feel that if they ask for help they are showing weakness and this will reflect negatively on them. In the case of very independent people this can be a real problem as they do not really know how to ask for help. Asking for help is not and admission of failure in any way, shape or form. It is just an admission that some assistance will further you toward your goal. You need to know how to ask for help and also when to ask for help, as most people will actually quite willingly give you assistance if they are able. The other part of this is that unless you do ask for help, do not expect any. People are not mind-readers, they need to be told that you need assistance.
In writing this, some will ask "What right does he have?" I will say, "None really, just giving advice." These are some of the things that I have found myself when it comes to problems. As anyone who knows me will confirm, I am one of the worst for asking for help, and as such I should really take my own advice, and I do try to. The important thing here is that we all need to look at problems and see what we can do about it, and if we can to actually do something about it. Have a look at the situation. Figure out what you can do about it. If you can, do something about it. Figure yourself out a plan and work at it, and don't forget to ask for help if you need it.
Cheers,
Henry.
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