Monetisation: A Question of Requirement

Greetings,

I have previously discussed the question of what my time is worth, and also a post about whether or not my time at university was a waste of time. I have been happy cruising along with my payments from Services Australia, under the auspices of the Department of Social Services. Yes, regardless of their re-branding, change of logo, or whatever, they are still the Department of Social Services, or DSS in Australia. However, more recently, there have been comments about what advantages I have, what privileges I have, and quite frankly with the way that the government has been managing the country, I have been feeling the squeeze on the more social/comfort parts of my life.

The result of all of this consideration? 

There needs to be a little background before I get to that. I write four blogs at the moment, this one, "A Fencer's Ramblings" my fencing blog where I discuss fencing and training in fencing, and all of the details that go along with that pursuit; "A Life with Fibromyalgia" where I discuss some of my medical history, and how I deal with my chronic illnesses, primarily fibromyalgia; and "Olde Wordes: An Examination of Elizabethan English" which began as a foundation for writing the Elizabethan portion of one of my books, which I published, His Practice in Modern and Elizabethan English. This was the second book that I have published, the first one was a book version of a series of my fencing blog articles, plus some extras added in, entitled Un-Blogged: A Fencer's Ramblings.

I write a lot most of my writing does not see the light of day, unless I find that the articles are of particular interest to a particular group. You can find a profile of me on academia.edu with more of my articles; these are more of a scholarly bend to them, though at least one of them is a bit of fun. The point here being that I have written a lot and seen very little in the way of financial recompense for the hours of work and the thousands and thousands of words I have written.

I have begun a profile on Patreon. I will be putting my more considered and researched articles on this site where people can pay me for the effort that has gone into producing the articles. I will not be removing articles from sites where they are already held, unless I do updates or improvements. In this case the newer versions will appear on the Patreon site for access to those people willing to pay me for my time and expertise.

I have no doubt that there will be some who will scoff at these efforts and who will make comment about the monetisation of my writing. To these people, I will say that I am simply expecting to be paid for the work that I am putting in, for the information that I am supplying, for the expertise that I am supplying in the process. If that is not sufficient explanation, then they can simply go elsewhere, as they are not my concern.

I will still put articles on my various blogs, but they will not be of the same size or quality that they used to be, they will be shorter, and likely pointing to more significant articles on the Patreon site. If you want someone to blame for all of this, you can blame the government; all the rich individuals who don't want to pay their taxes; and all those who still believe that people with disabilities choose not to work, and choose to allow their disabilities to impact their lives so much that the government keeps disability payments low, so low that they are under the taxable threshold, while the prices of basic food and accommodation rises.

Cheers,

Henry.

Happy for the Challenge

 Greetings,

I do not post on this blog as much as I have previously, and I probably should. There are things which, I should speak about; which should appear on this blog because they are relevant to me as a person with a disability, but this will come a little later on. This post came about after some thought about my situation, some philosophical thought one could say, but I think it is important that I state it.

To be clear, before I begin this post, I would prefer not to have that list of conditions. I would prefer to be well, and have the concerns of finding "normal" employment. This would have given me access to my dream job, changed a lot of things in my life, and prevented a lot of things that occurred in my history. However, I do not regret any of my history, because it made me the man I am today; without all of that, I would not be presenting the blog that so many readers have enjoyed. Here I state, that I  embrace my fate, I love my life, in the words of Friedrich Nietzsche, amor fati - love your fate, and so I shall.

I am happy for the challenge that fibromyalgia and all my other conditions have presented. If I did not have my disabilities, there would be a long list of things that I would not have done, and would not have known about myself. I will present these things for you to read and to consider.

If I did not have my disabilities: 

I would not have found so much strength. My disabilities forced me to find ways to adapt to the changes in my body. They forced me to find ways to prevail where, by all accounts I should've crawled into a corner and given up. I found this strength within myself, because I had to, and because I went looking for it, because I chose to go looking for it.

I would not have the opportunities I have to write, research, and fence. My conditions have prevented me from getting a "normal" job. They have prevented me from getting the paying version of my dream job. In the same way, because I don't have a "normal" job, I have time to write, I have time to research and I have time to develop my skills in swordplay. More, to choose what I write and research, because I am beholding to no one in this regard.

I would not have the opportunity to choose my path. In the same way as the above, if I was not on the disability pension, I would have to find a job. Likely this would entail "something to pay the bills" rather than doing what I love to do. Because I am on a pension, due to my disabilities, I choose my path, choose the path of an author, fencer and self-publisher.

I would not have the opportunity to enrich my life. Some would think that this is odd due to the lower fiscal situation that disability pensioners find themselves in. I enrich my life through reading, through a greater understanding of the world, through a enriching my mind through reading philosophy and understanding the great minds that came before us. I have the time to enrich my life with knowledge.

I would not have found some of the lovely people I have, nor grown such connections with them. I have a lot of people to be thankful in my life. Without my disability I would not have found these people, and it is not because they are support people, though they all fulfil this role in their own way. No, I have grown friendships as a result of kinship through disability; friend support friends. I have found that there are good hearts out in the world, you just have to find them. I will not name these people, but I hope they know who they are. Understand this when I say, I love you all.

There are twists of fate, or circumstance if you are of a more scientific mind, which occur which seem cruel at the time. They seem to rip and tear at us, they seem to leave us twisted and broken, not the same people who we were before. It is true a person will never be the person who they were before, this is the nature of time; you are not the person you were yesterday. You are not even the person you were before you read this article. The question is always how we treat these situations and their results.

A portion of time arrives, a situation occurs during that portion of time; a person makes a choice during that portion of time. Afterward the person must learn to live with the consequences of that decision. This is life. There are circumstances where there is no choice made by the person, the choice comes afterward, the choice is how the person deals with the aftermath of the situation, here there is still choice and the consequences of that choice, and doing nothing is a choice.

The beginnings of this is being thankful for your life, and I surely am. I have many things to be thankful in my life, those listed above are a short list. Remember, your life could always be worse than it currently is, there is always someone who could claim that they are having a harder time that you. Take what you have of your life and embrace it. Take the challenge of life and live it, and live it well. Be thankful for the challenges, embrace them as a chance to grow.

Cheers, Henry.

A Statement About Words

 Greetings,

I don't usually put my political feelings on subjects regarding disabilities on this blog, but I think this one is one which needs some attention. This is a somewhat edited version of another post I made on my other blog for that purpose. If you would like to read the post in its entirety, you can read it HERE.

There is a subject that I have not broached before and I believe it is time, especially with all the talk about Inclusivity being thrown about. I am going to be specific about some words and how I feel about them. In regard to some words I am going to make a statement about how I would prefer to be addressed, in much the same way as a person of a different gender might, but we must discuss this so my intent here is clear.

I have no intention of belittling the importance of those of different sexuality or gender expressing themselves. I believe that every human being has a right to a good and happy life, regardless of their situation. This is regardless of their gender, sexuality, race, ethnicity, religion, socio-economic position, or any other way some interest group may decide to divide people. Part of this is expressing themselves and being known in the way that they prefer, appropriate to their situation. 

Changing the term does not change the situation, it does not soften the situation. To give an example George Carlin once used, previously people who suffered mental stress in war, recognised in World War I, suffered from "shell shock". This was softened to "battle fatigue" in World War II. Since Vietnam we have "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder". The condition has not changed, the veterans still suffer from  the same conditions, the language has just been softened. Softened to make it more palatable to people. The same has happened with those with disabilities.

Changing the term does not change the situation, it does not soften the situation. Previously people were called "handicapped", then "disabled", now some call such individuals "differently abled", all in some measure to soften the words. To soften them so the people can be pushed aside, as though they have been dealt with, so people can feel better about themselves, so people don't have to worry so much. No. The term "differently abled" is inaccurate, and as far as I am concerned, offensive.

Here is my statement: I do not accept the definition as "differently abled". I refuse to be called such and find such a term offensive in its nature. Has a person suddenly gained some different ability due to their disability? No. The term is inaccurate, the term is offensive. I am disabled, a part of my person does not function as well as it does in a "normal" human being, this is the accurate term.

Finally, I will continue to raise these points and complain in this fashion about the use of such words and their inaccuracies until they are fixed, or until the system truly is inclusive as it claims to be, which it isn't, as I have highlighted HERE and HERE. 

Cheers,

Henry.

3 Weeks in bed...

Greetings,

Ironically this was not the result of fibromyalgia...

Onthe 7th September I had a coccygectomy; they removed my tail bone. I had broken it previously and surgery was the only option available due to the break (class 3). The surgery went well. I stayed in hospital overnight so I could be observed. I have since come home and spent most of my time in bed.

Problem with operation in that spot, at the base of your spine, is that there are few options for comfortable positions and movement. Clearly sitting without some sort of aid is out of the question. Standing is limited due to the nerve connections present. So, I have spent most of my time in bed, lying down, in some fashion. Indeed I am writing this on my tablet while lying on my side.

I have been lucky to have a supportive wife to help me, and some friends to visit. Going by my progress, I expect that I am going to be here for another couple of weeks. This is going to be a slow healing and recovery process, just the way it has to be. 

I am hoping to get out and about sometime, but I will have to manage that as last time it resulted in two days of pain. I may just have to be patient and wait until everything settles down properly. Best not to rush it, and put the healing process back. 

Not sure if I will update about this, especially considering I had not thought about it until now. Then again, you never know. Look after yourselves.

Cheers,

Henry.

Pain... It's All in Your Mind

 Greetings,

My last post was about COVID vaccines and my personal journey through having the vaccine. I will be continuing to have the vaccines, of all kinds, not just the COVID ones because they are good for protecting the body, regardless of their side-effects, and that was some time ago. I simply have not had anything to write about since then, nothing which I thought my readers of this blog would find helpful or useful. Today, I have.

How many times have you been told that your fibromyalgia (FM) is all in your mind? How many times have you been told that your chronic pain was all in your mind? In these instances the individuals were using the statement to pass the buck, to place the blame elsewhere or simply discredit feelings and sensations that you knew you were actually having. I have news... in a way they were right.

Pain does come from the mind, but it does not make it any less real. If you are having problems grasping this concept, I recommend watching any one of the many videos on YouTube by Professor Lorimer Moseley. HERE is one to get you started. He is an Australian who studies pain and its effects on individuals, and how it works, recognised internationally for his work. His research is revealing, and it is most useful to individuals who live with pain every day of their lives. Once you have had a listen to Professor Moseley, I would encourage you to read on and see what this revelation has done for me...

If my pain comes from my mind, then I am in partly responsible for the outcomes of this sensation. This is the case because I have active control of my mind, I am the person who decides what I do with my mind and what I think about. Yes, we all get distracted and we all get led off on our little adventures, but if you can control your mind, you can control your pain. Let me say that again, if you can control your mind, you can control your pain.

This is a skill and like any other skill it takes practise. You can practise through simple things like remaining on a particular topic and not being side-tract when you are thinking about a thing. You can practise by focusing on each individual part of your body and feeling each individual part of your body and then pushing them away. These are practising actions of mindfulness, not in the Buddhist, Dalai Lama, monkish sort of way but in an active form.

If I am actively doing something that I enjoy, my pain levels reduce a lot. I do not feel the pain, because my mind has been taken elsewhere, I am focused on something else. The more that we can find the triggers to these removing our thought patterns away from the pain that we are feeling, the less pain that we will feel. Of course, this works for me. 

I find if I focus on my pain, I end up in a spiral downward which just ends up in more pain. If I can stop the spiral, by distracting myself from the pain, by doing something active, or even something else that I have to focus on, the pain reduces and the spiral doesn't get a chance to start.

Why would I bother to seek out methods such as these when there are drugs available to dull my pain? I have more of a fear of drug-dependency than I do of pain. I would rather save the drugs for some time when I really need them than use them for chronic pain conditions. I would also rather have pain than have the fog associated with having enough drugs in my system to dull my pain. I have been here before and I did not like it at all. I don't want to be hooked on that sensation a person gets when the drugs hit their system. I would rather have the pain and feel alive than be pain-free and in some drugged up, semi-comatose, unable to think, state.

The problem is that our bodies get used to the presence of drugs, so they get dependent on their presence, and they get tolerant of them, so they have to be increased. I have topped out one of mine, so my doctor has had to move on to another one which will work with the one that I am using. This is the reason that I am doing my best to find other ways of dealing with my pain. Activity helps, especially if it is an activity that you enjoy, because you will want to go out and do it. Research, and work on your mind helps, but it is all hard work. The alternative, I believe, is worse.

Cheers,

Henry.

COVID Vaccine: My Second Pfizer Shot

 Greetings,

I wrote a little while ago about having my first COVID-19 vaccine and having the Pfizer vaccine to be precise and what I went through as some information for those with fibromyalgia (FM), so they might be aware of some side-effects. I also wrote it because even through all that I knew that I was doing the right thing and that was the most important thing. Well, with the prescribed weeks later, I went and had my second shot of the Pfizer vaccine, knowing full well what the side-effects would be.

The advantage that I had was that I was prepared for these side-effects so the doctor and I were able to mitigate some of the effects by increasing some of my medications for the period of the side-effects. This helped a bit and reduced some of the effect. I am not going to go and detail the day-by-day side-effects that I experienced after this second shot, I don't think it will serve any purpose. The side-effects were much the same, only slightly reduced.

In about five months I will be eligible to have my booster shot, and I will be having that too. Yes, it will no doubt result in another week full of side-effects, but that is not the point. Yes, it will result in me being inconvenienced for another week, but that is not the point. I will decrease my chances of being infected by COVID-19; I will also decrease my chances of passing the same on to others; and that is the point.

Much like wearing a mask in public where we can't social distance or we are asked to by our government, or public health authorities. We do this not only for our own benefit, but for the benefit of those around us. This is something that has often been lost in our current era, we do not think of others very often, we do not take our heads out of our little worlds to think of how our actions affect others, or how our inactions affect others. 

If anything, I hope that this pandemic teaches us to be kind to our neighbours, to consider our actions and what effect they will have on our neighbours. I know they are high hopes, but you have to start somewhere.

Cheers, 

Henry.

... But That's Not Me

 Greetings,

Funny thing, this started as a Facebook (FB) post, but it grew into something more worthy of a post on my blog, and I have posted so infrequently on this blog that I decided that it was time that I started again, at least on a more semi-regular basis. Before I get to the nitty-gritty of the current situation, I had my second Pfizer shot, with much the same resulting side-effects as the last, i.e. a week-long flare of my fibromyalgia (FM) symptoms. You can read the previous post if you want details. I still think it is worth it; COVID and the potential long-term side-effects would be much worse. Anyway, enough of that stuff, it's not actually why I am here today.

Like this blog I occasionally post some things on FB to raise awareness about FM, these are primarily images which I share from sites across FB. These are not cries for sympathy, I don't want sympathy it does me no good whatsoever. Sympathy is a salve for the individual who gives it. It makes them feel better. Sure it makes the other person feel better for a little while, but it is like giving painkillers to fix a broken spine. They take the pain away briefly, but the spine is still broken; and the painkillers become addictive and begin losing their effect after a while.

Empathy is a little more useful, though I find it difficult to understand how a person who does not have FM can empathise with a person who does. "Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference, that is, the capacity to place oneself in another's position." as defined by Wikipedia. How can a person "feel" what the person with FM feels every day, what they experience? Empathy is a long stretch in my opinion. Understanding, now that is a possibility, even if it is described through the particular lens of the individual, that will do nicely. Understand that we have our good days and our bad days. Understand that the symptoms are annoyingly random. Understand that it is like a roulette wheel as to whether tomorrow will be a good day or not. Further, understand that people react differently.

Returning to my original position, I post the images because they often do a good job explaining some of what I experience, however I dislike reading many of the comments because they do not relate to me. It's one of the reasons that I have not joined a support group in the decades since I was diagnosed. I have run into people who have FM and there tends to be two types. 

The first type allows their condition to rule their lives. It is the explanation for the reason why they don't do things. FM is the reason they don't or can't go out and do things. FM has ruined their lives because their body will not allow them to do things, because it hurts. They do things and it causes them pain so they don't do them anymore. They focus on the negative.

The second type understands the effect the condition has had on their lives, but pushes against those boundaries every chance they get. They go out and do things regardless of their condition; in some cases deliberately in spite of their condition. They push they pain to one side so they can go out and do things, and find that while they are doing them they don't notice the pain. They push their limits, and pay for it, and then go out and push their limits again, and again. 

The problem is that most of the responses to the images that I find are from the first type, and I am certainly from the second type. I want to find out what I can do, and keep on doing it. I don't want the spiral of ever-reducing capacity. I want to get out there and keep doing things.

I thought about responding to the comments, to show these people that there is hope, but you have to find it within yourselves rather than go looking for it elsewhere. I thought about arguing it from a philosophical point of view, pointing them toward the Stoics for a better way to live. The Roman emperor, and Stoic, Marcus Aurelius suffered from chronic illness. His Meditations as we know it now has passages about pain and illness, because he suffered and responded. I thought about even pointing them toward Nietzsche who also suffered from chronic illness throughout his life, pointing them toward his "will to power", but I wonder what the responses would be. 

Instead, I write to you, my dear reader, explaining how these people are not me. They do not represent everyone with FM; we have not all lost hope; some of us do not live our lives in little balls of pain shutting the world out complaining about all the pain, we have lives to live. The only way to change your life is for you to change your life. Take a different perspective. Change your thought patterns. Don't wait for the miracle cure that may or may not happen. This is your life, go out and live it.

Cheers,

Henry.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You will notice a lot of Wikipedia links in my posts. This is a great resource of free information which is now reliably researched, as you will note by the references which appear at the bottom of each page. I donate to the Wikimedia Foundation every year to keep this non-profit group operational, and I recommend that everyone do the same, you can do this HERE. Please give, and keep this free source of information alive, there are few of them these days.