Onward and Upward...

Greetings,

It has been a while since I wrote anything here and the last was a little bit "doom and gloom" for my liking so I will be aiming at changing the tempo a little and lifting the things up a bit. So, there will be some updates with the way things are going, as per usual, and then I will just have to see what I end up with writing towards the end, so good luck to both of us.

News: I have specialists, most of whom do not want to see me until next year. Awesome. Renal specialist wants to keep an eye on things but is for the most part happy with the way things are going. Respiratory specialist is happy with the way things are going so does not want to see me until next year. Endocrine/Bone specialist does not want to see me for at least two years. Hepatology specialist gets seen in a couple of days time and I do not think that there will be much new news there. So the methotrexate is getting increased to combat the sarcoid in my liver... not really that much difference to tell you the truth.

As for the lower abdominal pain, it seems to be on the retreat for the most part. There was some free fluid floating around there, or so the CT Scan said, but it seems to be settling itself out. Sure, bits of pain here and there still, but hell, it is only pain and I am pretty used to that. I am thinking that at the current rate that one should be off my list in a couple of weeks. I will be taking the CT to show the Hepatology people just to keep them informed and see if they have any ideas, I am not expecting much really.

Other news: I have my first official training day for my new fencing school this weekend. As of this weekend it really is a reality. This is one of those life-long dream things happening finally for me. It is just the first step on a much longer path and I am really looking forward to it I can tell you. The big part of this will really get going early next year. I have mentioned this school previously in other posts so I will not go on with it much.... alright just a bit.

Ever since I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia I have been looking for a job or something similar which would fit the random schedule which the FM tends to deal me. I figured it had to be something that I loved, but also something which could be managed around myself and my issues. "Normal" jobs just did not seem to fit the bill as it was always someone else's timetable, rather than one modified to my needs. I love my fencing, as anyone who knows me will tell you, addicted would be putting it mildly. So I figured if I could combine the "owner-operator" and "love of fencing thing" then I would be set. Looks like things are headed well in the right direction I can tell you.

I figure that the first thing a person with FM needs is something to get them out of bed in the morning. This has to be something which you love and just cannot think of a better thing to be doing. For me it is my fencing, or researching fencing, or doing something with regard to fencing. Go out and find what that thing is for you. It does not matter how small it is, or even what it is, if it gets you out of bed and makes you feel good that is a path to a better life.

Other people try and motivate us, unfortunately because they are not us they can not understand what is going on with us. It does not matter how close the person is, or even if they have the same condition, it is a personal thing. We can do our best to explain what is going on but something will always get lost in translation. So, the best place for the motivation to come from is within you. This is really the same for everyone, chronic illness or not, self-motivation is much stronger than any motivation an external source can provide. Find something that will motivate you from within and you will be surprised what you can achieve.

In my case my love of fencing motivates me and does a lot for my pain levels. I do not feel as uncomfortable, even on my worst days, when I am doing something with regard to my chosen passion. The focus required for what I do takes away from the focus on the pain, and as a result improves how I feel. Sure there are days where all I can do is research and read about it, but those are days in which I store up knowledge for the days when I can pick up my sword and do it. There are even days when I am lethargic about going to training or a tournament, once I put my armour on and pick up my sword and get going, those lethargic thoughts seem to blend away. Sure on a rough day I do not move as smoothly as I would like, and I sure pay for it afterward, but the hours with a sword in my hand are more than enough reward for me.

Find your passion, find your motivation, and go onward and upward. You may be surprised where you find yourself in the future and what you can achieve when you apply all of yourself to it. All you have to do is start.

Cheers,

Henry.