Out of Control

Greetings,

We all like to think that we have some control over ourselves and our surroundings. I can tell you that this is an illusion, it is a comfortable illusion, but an illusion nonetheless. The focus of this article is on the tenuous control that a person with FM has upon their lives and also some ideas I have about getting some more of the control back. Big note with regard to this, each case is individual, some of this may work for you and some of it may not.

There are two elements to the body which will be discussed, the mind and the body. Ironically the one which we think that we have most control of is actually the one which we have least control of and vice versa. With this idea firmly planted, I am going to have a look at some situations which I have been faced with and some of the ways that I deal with various elements in my life.

Triggers and Planning

One of the greatest problems that I find with fibromyalgia is the randomness of the condition, and this is directly related to control and it is here that we can get some control back. We all know that we have triggers which will set our FM off either in the short-term or the long-term. The greatest control that we have is acknowledging these triggers and relating them back to their causes, not their symptoms which we know so well, but their causes.

For those of us who have been living with our condition for some time, the triggers are self-evident and we have grown accustomed to their presence and know the consequences. For those who have been dealing with the condition on the shorter term, my advice is to get a diary and record things, everyday things, and figure out the patterns. The triggers may be mental and the triggers may be physical both have an effect.

In my particular case I hate being tied down and being told that I can't. What this results in is me pushing myself physically a lot. I know that one of my triggers is over-doing things on a particular day. I know for sure that the fibromyalgia will come back and bite me in the arse the next day. I also know that stressful situations will also cause issues for me. These are especially the case where the stress is definitively emotional. Sure getting pissed off raises the endorphins and the adrenalin, however the crash will always come about. The symptoms I have described here are some of my triggers.

Once you know some of your triggers you can start to plan. If an activity causes you to have a flare-up the next day, plan it for a day where you have the next day where you can relax, and expect to. If there is a particular type of weather which causes you issues, which I know is the case for me, watch the weather report and this may help you plan for the next day. Of course there are those times where the FM rears its ugly head without explanation, we still have to deal with these and it is here where the control is seen to be an illusion. The trick here is to do what you can in order to plan. Even if it only helps a little, this is a little more than you had before.

The Body

We all have this belief that we are all in full control of our bodies. If this is the case we should be able to raise our immune systems from the inside during flu seasons. If this was the case then things like heart attacks and strokes would be things of the past. The thing is that the body is a complex mechanism which we are still trying to understand. In the case of a person with FM things become even more tricky.

My idea to write this particular post was the result of a particularly bad day on one which I thought was going to be a good one. I got a reasonable amount of sleep, the temperature was reasonable and the weather was reasonably settled. Should have been a good day for me. Did not happen. Before too long the symptoms began to build, shaking in the hands resulting in pain later on. Headache building due to my neck being an issue, and of course the infamous "FM fuzz" which I hate the most. As a result of this I decided that I should write something about what was going on (Obviously not the day I am writing this).

According to all of my "trigger data" it should have been a good day, but things just decided that it was time to go downhill. It was really frustrating for me I can tell you, I had plans for that day and obviously they went out the window. It is this lack of control that is the thing that annoys me the most. Sure we can plan, as indicated above, but the control is something which is very tenuous. For the most part where most other people have predictability, this is lacking in a person with FM. The one big thing that I have noticed with FM is the sharp reduction in control that the condition results in.

Ironically, while the body is the one which reveals the most symptoms in most cases it is the one which is the most out of control. The control over the body is a nice illusion which we all cling to. Sure there are elements of the physical situation which we can control, but there are also those which we simply cannot. The sooner people realise this the better in my opinion. Once they can do this then they can identify those elements which they can control and focus on them.

The Mind

A person starts taking about controlling the mind and most people, especially those with a sci-fi brain will automatically start thinking about "mind control", not what I am talking about. I am talking about taking some control of our own minds using our minds, and thus gaining some control over our situation. Sounds a little "fuzzy" in nature, be assured I am not going to start expecting people to light candles and the rest of it, this is something different.

The mind, your mind, is stronger than you may think. I can point this out relatively easily. There are mental symptoms which will result in physical effects. Perfect example is if someone starts talking about scratching an itch others will more than likely start scratching themselves. In the case of a person with fibromyalgia the effects can be much more wide-spread. In my particular case I find that certain stressful situations can bring on the physical effects of FM. Increasing stress in a situation can cause a my FM to cause me all sorts of problems.

From the other side of things, mental symptoms can also result in mental effects. Being around people who are tired or depressed can result in us being tired or depressed ourselves. Thus within ourselves if we find a particular situation which is tiring we can begin to feel tired. Indeed I have found that if I discuss my condition too much with people highlighting the various issues, some of them can manifest, especially the mental aspects.

So, there are mental symptoms which can create both mental and physical effects. This both tells us the effects which the mind can have upon us, however, it also tells us that we can also control effects through the use of the mind. I have found that through thought processes and active thinking about things I can reduce the effects of my FM on myself. For the most part it is simply telling myself that I do not have the time for the flare-up at that point in time, or more often that I will get through what needs to be done. It is the positive thoughts which can be our allies. You will find that negative thoughts can have negative effects while positive thoughts can have positive effects. The trick, you actually have to believe in what you are telling yourself. If you don't it will not work.

I have previously discussed the idea of triggers and planning. This was mostly focused on the physical aspects of FM, but what should be noted here is that the same can be used against the mental aspects as well. Of course, the same reduction in control is also present and we need to be aware of this.

With regard to the mental aspects of fibromyalgia the biggest shock to my system was when I was diagnosed with depression as a part of my condition. This was quite a shock to me at the time I can tell you. I have since had a thought about it and it is simply the result of being sick for so long. In general I am quite a positive person. I always look for ways around or ways through problems rather than letting them beat me. I personally attribute this positive aspect of my nature as a great asset and assistance to me. It is also the reason why I was so shocked about the diagnosis, and resisted it for a long time. Yes, I am on medication for my depression and it does help. Keeping positive and active I have found is a great asset and has helped significantly with my FM.

Conclusion

Control is an illusion for the most part, however there are aspects of our lives which we can control. The trick I have found is to have the ammunition to fight the issues which I come across. Finding out my own triggers and planning for what is to come has been a great asset to me in order to gain back some control. Taking control of our own lives and our own conditions can only be an asset to us.

The biggest secret in all of this is that while control is an illusion there are aspects which you can control. The secret to this is finding things out and doing things about them. You are stronger than you think you are. You can find ways to deal with the issues that confront you. Your mind is a great weapon. Your positive thoughts about yourself are a great weapon. Do not think that you can win, know you can. Find those things which you can control and use them, especially against those which you can't.