Greetings,
Be warned this one is coming completely off the top of my head, so it is likely going to be a rambling discussion of subjects such as Pain Scales and other such things. Further, there will be other such topics of discussion when it comes to pain present here. Quite frankly, you're just going to have to read along to find out. If you want something substantially more structured, and a hell of a lot longer, have a read of the document I wrote. This one does not appear on my Patreon site because I wanted everyone to read it. I might put it up there as a public post, just to get a larger audience to read it.
Like the "Disability Conversation," the "Pain Conversation" makes people uncomfortable. In some instances it is because it results in the infamous "pain comparison" i.e., my pain is worse than yours, or I have experienced worse pain than you have. This comparison of pain is often a point-scoring exercise, rather than an exercise in understanding which is what is needed in a conversation about pain. If we can understand pain we can move toward dealing with pain.
Rather than a "pain comparison," there needs to be empathy between the people in the conversation, to try and understand the pain that the other experiences. The direction of such a conversation should be directed toward ways the pain can be dealt with, how the pain is removed, or how it is shifted so the person can get on with living. This is the important part, ensuring pain does not control our lives, that we don't just exist, that we live.
The Pain Scale in its classic form is a set of numbers from 0 - 10 where each represents the level of pain an individual happens to be in at the time. For chronic pain sufferers this scale is odd, strange even, as this mythical 0, often does not exist for them unless they are unconscious or anesthetised, or in some similar condition where the brain is inactive. Where there is chronic pain, the Pain Scale shifts, it does not shorten, it shifts, or can shift.
If an individual has "background" i.e., permanent pain, at 3, this is their new 0, therefore the 10 in their scale can be 3 steps above 10, and sometimes is due to being "used to pain." In other cases it works in a different way where the scale simply gets shorter. The other numbers are cut off, 3 is the new 0, and 7 is the new 10, because their pain has increased and their ability to cope has reduced.
In my case my Pain Scale is simply f*cked-up. Then again, I have fibromyalgia (FM), so most of my readers should not be surprised if they have been reading my posts. I have background pain all of the time, the level of which floats, depending on the day, weather, and activity. The only time I have 0 level of pain is when I am unconscious, anesthetised, or asleep (with VPAP on and night-time drugs taken). Pain usually wakes me up in the morning.
How do I deal with my "life of pain" as some writer put it? Depends. Some of the pain I can move to the back of my thoughts. I just tell it to go away because I have things to do, I am simply too busy to be in pain. Other times, I save up my "spoons" and blow the lot of them on activities I love, knowing that I am going to pay for the experience.
Some will claim this is a "boom and bust" lifestyle and it is not good for me. My response is that I am a quality of life, not a quantity of life, sort of guy. I am going to live my life. I am not going to spend it restricting myself because an activity might hurt, or because I know it does, even though I enjoy it.
There will be those who will say, that this is not your way. No, it isn't. This is my way of living and having a life. I live and I do the things that I love. I contribute to society where I can through my activities and through my involvement with other people. I do my best to not let pain get in the way of these activities.
I will not be bound. I will not be restricted. I will find ways and means. This is my way. I find each struggle and obstacle, not as a hindrance, but as a challenge laid before me. They are a chance for me to overcome these obstacles and struggles, but they are also a chance for me to overcome the greatest challenger of my life, myself. Pain is just another part of me that is a challenge to defeat. Look forward, not backward; look toward the life that is before you. Love your life. AMOR FATI - love your fate.
Of interest, I went to the Pain Management Clinic (or whatever they want to call themselves this time), I saw the doctor and talked about my medications and so forth. She changed one of my medications, and my GP and I are discussing whether or not we will change another. I saw their psychologist, and her response was you are doing all that we teach, "What are you doing here?" I saw their physiotherapist and told her about what I do, she also said I was doing what I needed, "What are you doing here?" They both reported back to the doctor, and I was shortly thereafter discharged from the clinic over the phone... might have helped me dropping that 88-page monster I had previously indicated. I believe that my understanding of pain is quite complete, but I am always learning.
Cheers,
Henry.
No comments:
Post a Comment