Recovery and Inspiration

Greetings,

Well, what can I say, the "crash" happened and I got hit hard. I basically was taken "out of service" for a full week and really I am not back up and running completely again. This was one of those times where the body made the statement that "You will rest." I tend to push myself to breaking point and past it often so this is the result. What can I say? In this particular case the pushing was well worth it.

I traveled to Glenworth Valley on the Easter weekend via Sydney and Gosford for one day of a week-long medieval festival which happens around Sydney each year. My purpose was to examine a Guildmaster's Prize, which is essentially the last examination for the top grade in a Western Martial Arts organisation I am a part of. It was a lot of fun, but taxing on the body. Ok, so it was not just the Prize it was the "pick-up" fights which I spent most of the weekend fighting and the traveling that really did it, but it was fun so I have no regrets.

So I mentioned "inspiration" in my title. The source, here: http://positivityinpain.wordpress.com/2013/04/07/a-letter-to-my-condition/. This is a blog written by a lady with fibromyalgia like myself, and reading it I found a little inspiration to explain a couple of things which may not be as apparent as they might be. These are some things about my life, so you will forgive the "thought-writing" process that follows.

I have had fibromyalgia now officially for about a decade or so. It has torn my life apart. It has ruined opportunities and plans which I had in place for many years. I do not doubt that it has also destroyed some friendships and also made some of my friends look at me quite differently. It causes me pain on a daily basis and makes my activity levels so random that is difficult to plan anything ahead. It causes me to be inactive for weeks on end causing me stress and feelings of uselessness. I have no doubt that some of my friends have abandoned me due to the random nature of my condition, and also due to a lack of understanding of what I go through.

My condition has placed lots of stresses on my personal life and interactions as well. I believe that I have had relationships end due to the effects of the condition and the resulting limitations of it. My wife is one of the most understanding people in the world, she understands some of what I go through. She hates my pain almost as much as I do as it limits our interactions and what we want to do. My family has always been supportive, but I suspect that they do not always understand what is going on with me and do not understand the things that I do. I hope that one day that they will.

However, my condition has also changed my life and changed the way that I view my life. I do not have a "normal" life. I do not get up in the morning and go to work. I do not even get up and look for work. I do not have work in the traditional sense. My work consists of researching pieces of history and Historical European Martial Arts in order that I can teach my students the things that I have learnt. My work consists of  going to training and teaching students the arts of the Renaissance period. My work consists of writing my blogs of which I have three, this one and two others; one is about fencing and the other is about Elizabethan language.

If I did not have FM I would be at a job every day of the week. Instead I spend my time doing things that I can and more importantly things that I love. My condition has resulted in me changing my life and focusing on the things that I can do rather than the things that I cannot. I do not doubt that without my condition I would not know my fencing as much as I do, nor would I be as skilled as I am. I would not also have students whose achievements are a source of pride.

Sure FM has closed a lot of doors and caused lots of issues, but it has also opened other doors and allowed me to experience life in a different but valuable way. Doors which have opened would not have otherwise been opened. My life is different from the "normal", this I know and accept. I live my life as it is and get as much enjoyment and fulfillment out of it as I can. Everyone should seek to do the same.

Cheers,

Henry.